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Admiral Benjamin Church

aka Ben

  • I live in Nebraska
  • I was born on October 21
  • My occupation is Student, Writer
  • I am Male
Wiki-wordmark

Welcome, Admiral Benjamin Church, to Halo Fanon: the wiki where you can write fan-made article(s) about the popular Halo series! Just follow these 3 basic rules and you will be guaranteed to be successful on this wiki!


Rule #1: Follow Canon! — What is Canon? By definition, it is the body of works considered genuine or official within a fictional universe. For example, Bungie and 343 Industries have officially stated that there were only twelve Halos. So, face the facts and try not to be stupid enough to create another Halo, otherwise it may be tagged and namespaced.

Rule #2: Mark Your Property! — Whenever you make an article, it is appropriate that you label your property with: {{Writer|Admiral Benjamin Church}} at the top of the article. If at some point you have not finished that article, just insert {{Under Construction}} to notify other users that it is not complete.

Rule #3: Sign Your Name! — Whenever you place a comment on a talk page, please sign in your name, insert the —~~~~ at the bottom of your comment. When you press the "Save Page" button, Halo Fanon will automatically convert the —~~~~ to your username along with the time and date you posted. If you still have any problem on this method, just insert this alternative signature:
—{{Name|Admiral Benjamin Church}} ~~~~~.

For more information on creating an article, visit the Halo Fanon Guide Manual.

Visit the rule page for the full list of rules and policies on Halo Fanon (link in the slider below). Note that other users will point out when you are breaking rules, so it is strongly recommended that you read them before you begin writing.


RE: VV

Odin2
Brodie-001The Demon - The Fighter - The Fallen - The Survivor
TALK CONTRIBUTIONS — Friday 09:26 2020
Hey there. I'm afraid that Vae Victis began well over a year ago and is nearing completion at this point, so we're not taking any applicants. In the invitations I sent out to people's talk pages I just used the {{USERNAME}} template, which makes the username of whoever looks at the invite appear. If you see it on another user's page it means it was sent to them instead.


Response

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Ajax 013 - <Death to Heroes>[The Damned] [The Lost][The Forgotten] ObscurumVictoria :
TALK - Greenwich Mean Time
Sorry bout the late reply. Well, the first part of my response is that sadly, Necros-era technology was made strictly for use on my articles, and isn't for use outside of that. However, other than that, I do have some criticisms of it.
  1. My first criticism is of its role. Most starships are designed with a single role, in relation to their class. That is to say, Frigates are used for escort/scouting/wolfpack fighting, Cruisers are for space superiority and engaging other starships, Carriers are for aircraft support, and occasionally command and control. This ship sorts of seems to be all over the place for it's role. Its a fleet carrier, an assault carrier, planetary assault ship, anti-air ship, fleet command etc. I'd stick to just one of these roles, with perhaps one as the secondary role. I'd suggest fleet carrier and command ship.
  2. Then I'd criticise weaponry. As a carrier, it would be mainly equipped with fighters, to hang back, way out of the fight. On top of that, a lot of the weapons are actually clashing with one another. Since you copy and pasted every ship-mounted weapon system from Necros era and every ship mounted system from Halo canon, most are heavily overlapping. For instance, the M41 Hailstorm NSG is a twin 155mm gauss gun, developed from the ONager. So you have them, then a lesser number of Mark/2488 Onager MACs. Another instance would be the inclusion of Windstorm/Firestorm/Thunderstorm CIWS and the M910 50mm point defence gun. Exactly the same role, only my CIWS are a hella lot more powerful. Finally, its got 4 different sets of nuclear weapon systems. Ships only really need one. I'd suggest taking down the number and range of the armaments greatly, and stick with Halo canon, ones, or if you choose to invent new ones, make sure they don't clash with existing ones.
  3. Thirdly, the complement is all over the place. Like the weapons section, a lot of it is clashing, such as the fact Marine Expeditionary Brigades already contain ground and air vehicles, or multiple aircraft in the same role. Also, the massive amounts of vehicles included, which aren't particularly necessary (Especially since there's more tanks than there are Marines to crew them.). I'd suggest researching Marine Expeditionary Brigades (A real life military formation) and their smaller and larger cousins (Marine Expeditionary Unit and Marine Expeditionary Force) to give you an idea of how many marines and vehicles to put on the ship. Similarly, you might want to look at air wings carried on modern day carriers, to give you a better idea of what to use.
  4. And there's a few other little niggley things, like the two A.I.s. Navigation on starships isn't the most pressing thing in the world, and can be pretty safely handled by lesser computers. MY suggestion is have Alice and Odin share duties for weapons, command and control, communications, spacecraft management, countermeasures, etc. The ship's name is kind of cheesy too.

I hope to see you bring this ship to Halo Fanon!




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Ajax 013 - <Death to Heroes>[The Damned] [The Lost][The Forgotten] ObscurumVictoria :
TALK - Greenwich Mean Time
I'd drop 'Mega' and change it for 'Super' or 'Fleet'. Also, a ship designed to enter fleet engagements on its own isn't a good thing, since numbers will always win. I'm afraid I don't have the time to work collaboratively on an article, but I'll always have time to give you feedback, to make sure your article is heading in the right direction. Also, I'm a little confused about your phrasing, but are you wanting to add this ship to Necros era? Because I'm not currently taking submissions for ships to join it.




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Ajax 013 - <Death to Heroes>[The Damned] [The Lost][The Forgotten] ObscurumVictoria :
TALK - Greenwich Mean Time
I'm not sure how typing it out in an email is less time-intensive typing it out on the wiki. You're using the same keyboard and hands right?




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Ajax 013 - <Death to Heroes>[The Damned] [The Lost][The Forgotten] ObscurumVictoria :
TALK - Greenwich Mean Time
could you not email it to yourself and open your emails on your computer? Only my email is reserved for work-related emails.




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Ajax 013 - <Death to Heroes>[The Damned] [The Lost][The Forgotten] ObscurumVictoria :
TALK - Greenwich Mean Time
Then its entirely possible the exact same thing will happen when you email me. However, you still want to try, my email is i_only_do_what_the_voices_say@hotmail.com



Ship

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Ajax 013 - <Death to Heroes>[The Damned] [The Lost][The Forgotten] ObscurumVictoria :
TALK - Greenwich Mean Time
I got your email, and I've posted the contents to User:Admiral Benjamin Church/UNSC Abraham Lincoln. so there's no more need to email me concerning it.

Now the first part is, I'm not really understanding how or why you needed specifically to email this, since 90% of the content is copy and pasted from my work anyway. As I said last time, any and all content from my articles, is for use purely within Revenant/Necros era articles. I'll ask that you remove it in future edits.

Now the next part, you seem to have done little to address my criticism from last time. Most warships have a singular role, such as naval warfare, carrier support, command and control, escort, etc. "Super-Heavy Command-Assault Cruiser-Carrier" is just a load of mumbo jumbo. I would suggest sticking with one of those, and one of those alone.

Now, the ship's you've named as the inspiration are ships that are so completely different from one another in terms of size, capability, role, weaponry, complement, etc, that a combination of them is not feasible.



Sighing Intensifies

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Ajax 013 - <Death to Heroes>[The Damned] [The Lost][The Forgotten] ObscurumVictoria :
TALK - Greenwich Mean Time
So last time you emailed me, and I provided you feedback here, its good to see you ignored every single things I said.

First off, I made an article, just so you could post there, instead of unloading the information on my talk page. You ignored that.

Secondly, I asked you to stop using my work on your ship. You ignored that.

Thirdly, you've ignored all of my criticism. I'm not sure why you're even asking me for feedback when you've ignored it every single time.

Now, I'm really weary of this. You ask me for feedback, I give it, you ignore it. I ask you to remove my content, you ignore that request. Now I'm pretty much at the end of my tether. Why are you still asking me when you've ignored everything I told you, and still copying my work? Now I've tried being super nice about this, but you've taken advantage of that, so now I'm going to be deadly serious about this.

If you want to continue this ship work, post it to User:Admiral Benjamin Church/UNSC Abraham Lincoln, not to my talk page, otherwise I'm just going to start deleting it. If you want me to continue giving you feedback on your work, actually show that you've listened and respond, and take it on board, and don't ignore it. And no, you absolutely cannot use any of my content. You do that, I will simply delete it. If you do it again, the administration will treat this as plagiarism, and action will be taken.

This is not a friendly message, or a nice little message, this is a ultimatum. Take in what I said, or I'll stop providing feedback for you.



RE: Article Concept Suggestion

Odin2
Brodie-001The Demon - The Fighter - The Fallen - The Survivor
TALK CONTRIBUTIONS — Friday 09:26 2020
While ship articles really aren't my forte, you should really try structuring that page like an actual article because it's quite difficult to read in its current state. Add a ship infobox and some proper sections first of all. Secondly, the ship's quite clearly meant to be incredibly powerful. It's a pretty common thing I see from newer users to be honest; trying to make a massive invincible ship without any rhyme or reason. Superships are, to be blunt, incredibly boring. Checking your talk page, Ajax has already given you a ton of advice regarding the ship that you simply followed whatsoever. If you don't want the article to be immediately NCF'ed if it's put up on the site then seriously, follow what he's already said to you.

Regarding RP's, there simply aren't any currently running on the site that are open for people to join. For some reason the Roleplay Database lists several inactive RP's as still active, which I'm going to try and fix now.


RE: Help

Odin2
Brodie-001The Demon - The Fighter - The Fallen - The Survivor
TALK CONTRIBUTIONS — Friday 09:26 2020
If you're referring to the ship infobox then it can be found here. Just follow the usage instructions there to put it on your page. You don't have to fill in every single section of the infobox though, just ones that are applicable to your article.


Infobox

Odin2
Brodie-001The Demon - The Fighter - The Fallen - The Survivor
TALK CONTRIBUTIONS — Friday 09:26 2020
The reason it isn't working is because for some odd reason you're putting the 'nowiki' tags before and after the infobox, which stops it from working properly, probably because you copied it from the infobox page in edit mode instead of from the page itself. Just take out the nowiki tags and it should work properly.



Odin2
Brodie-001The Demon - The Fighter - The Fallen - The Survivor
TALK CONTRIBUTIONS — Friday 09:26 2020
Just remove anything that says 'nowiki' when you put the template on the page. I really can't make this any clearer than it is. If for whatever reason you're still unable to put up the template on your own (it's really not hard), then come by the Site IRC channel via the simple instructions on that page.



Odin2
Brodie-001The Demon - The Fighter - The Fallen - The Survivor
TALK CONTRIBUTIONS — Friday 09:26 2020
I've placed the ship infobox on your page for you. You can add information to the infobox in edit mode. This is the only time I'm going to do this as you should really learn how to do simple wikia stuff like this on your own. Please direct any further enquiries to the wiki's IRC channel instead of my talk page as it'll be much quicker for people to answer your questions there. Thanks.


RE: Question

Odin2
Brodie-001The Demon - The Fighter - The Fallen - The Survivor
TALK CONTRIBUTIONS — Friday 09:26 2020
Halo Party Time is the name given to the series of online games played by site members. It tells you exactly what it's about on the page. As for creating an era, you'd have to create a new page for whatever you're calling it (for example we've got Against All Odds and Sigmaverse pages), then follow the application process here to set up an Era icon and link for your pages. Once that's done you can add it to the Expanded Universe page in the relevant section. It's a very simple process.

Also:

" Please direct any further enquiries to the wiki's IRC channel instead of my talk page as it'll be much quicker for people to answer your questions there. Thanks."
―Me, yesterday


Seriously, you'll get answers much faster if you just use the IRC like I said. I already gave you a link yesterday so you can get there and this way you won't have to keep messaging me or Ajax every time you have a question about the site; there's almost always someone in the channel that can help you instead of you having to go back and forth with messages like this.


RE: Articles

SmartLinkScope
Ahalosniper — That Damn Sniper, sniping — Forged in secret, tempered in fire; Cheeky Demon, God Defier
TALK CONTRIBUTIONS — Friday, July 3 2020 (Pacific Standard Time)
Greet'ns. Taking a quick look over, there's not a whole lot of content there yet for me to make any big judgement call, but it seems to me you're taking the route of a universe with an original, big super-powered threat in the future past even the events of Halo? I don't know, I've seen it done several times before with everything from Draconians to Amicus, and it never quite sits right with me. They're like original fiction universes that include token Spartans (which often aren't even remotely similar to Halo Spartans at all) to justify being here. It's just not Halo enough for me, darn it, and godmodding always becomes a problem. That may be one already with Far Wanderers possessing time travel. Lok'Vara, on the other hand, I dare say have potential as an idea; any inspiration from Animorphs there? Maybe I'm confusing memories, the brain parasites there were the bad guys. But then, Forerunner ancilla like Guilty Spark and the Librarian left behind to help humankind take up the Mantle already fill that role for characters in the Halo-verse. You might consider ancillas as a replacement.

For Bunker Hill, jeez, that is a very long infobox for a very short article so far. Not every field in the infobox needs filling out, really, so you might consider shortening it up. The idea behind it seems to be just the Infinity but bigger and better (biggest and best already being Infinitys seeming whole point, dumb as it is), using a later time frame to justify itself. The Infinity definitely did bring the fight to the enemy, its maiden voyage bringing it right over Sangheilios to say to the Elites, "Hey. How ya doing. We got a supership right above your planet, armed. Just gonna put that out there." Heck, the thought even strikes me that Infinitys dumb sub-ship bays may have been meant for old slipspace tech because it was impossible to coordinate a fleet in slipspace, and this way one ship jumped and then turned into a fleet by itself . . . I'm getting off track. Basically, you can do a far-future of Halo universe, but it really doesn't seem all that appealing an idea because it'll be so very little related to what goes on in canon Halo. Regards, That Damn Sniper.




SmartLinkScope
Ahalosniper — That Damn Sniper, sniping — Forged in secret, tempered in fire; Cheeky Demon, God Defier
TALK CONTRIBUTIONS — Friday, July 3 2020 (Pacific Standard Time)
That's kind of my problem with the war with a new alien race in the future idea, though. Introducing a new alien threat never heard of before in Halo that is so far advanced above the UNSC that it's like it's overpowered. We already had that kind of event with the Covenant in the first place, anyway. It's not the justification, it's the core concept. But, that is a personal opinion. If you have fun with it, go for it, 'cause that's the point. Good luck, That Damn Sniper.



Re:Hallo there

Darth Revan
Revan180193 - "Savior, conqueror, hero, villain. You are all things Revan… and yet you are nothing. In the end you belong to neither the light nor the darkness. You will forever stand alone.":
TALK - Friday, July 3 2020
Hey there, I would love to help you out with your articles admiral. If you'll allow me, I can add a few sections to some of them you could work/expand on if you want.



Darth Revan
Revan180193 - "Savior, conqueror, hero, villain. You are all things Revan… and yet you are nothing. In the end you belong to neither the light nor the darkness. You will forever stand alone.":
TALK - Friday, July 3 2020
Such as headings and and such thing ^^. Could I invite you halo-fanons IRC? Then we could chat much better than this. Link Just type in your name in the nickname box and "halo-fanon" in the channel box.



Darth Revan
Revan180193 - "Savior, conqueror, hero, villain. You are all things Revan… and yet you are nothing. In the end you belong to neither the light nor the darkness. You will forever stand alone.":
TALK - Friday, July 3 2020
Oh well, then I'll just give you feedback on your articles talk pages for now. Hope to see you on the IRC some day ^^ (there you go... got a few thing mixed up hehe ^^')



Darth Revan
Revan180193 - "Savior, conqueror, hero, villain. You are all things Revan… and yet you are nothing. In the end you belong to neither the light nor the darkness. You will forever stand alone.":
TALK - Friday, July 3 2020
Sorry, I'm already in a collaborate with Andromeda Vadum. But you could try and ask him to be a part of his verse (vadumverse) which I'm also working on.



User Collaboration

Hello, I noticed you've displayed some interest in Vadumverse; however, I must remain neutral at this point mainly because of the following reasons:

  1. Some of your articles are in NFCed state.
  2. Most of your articles would conflict with the Vadumverse timeline.

You can still fill out the application on the Vadumverse main page; although, I still don't understand what you intend to do. You can probably create new articles to better fit the universes timeline?

I don't mean to come off mean, it's just right now with your article's current state I don't think a universal collaboration will work. But if you would like, I can probably give out some advice:

  • Anything that has to do with time travel best thing to do is don't go there, if you'd seen project almanac you'd know why time travel is bad. Furthermore, if you time travel and want to kill say Catherine Halsey because she is a war criminal, so you kill her and then the Spartan program never happens, so that means Earth would be obliterated and so on and so forth, the thing is it will get confusing cause nobody wants to predict what happens after that event takes place it would coincide with the Halo universe and make things even more complicated.
    • So I also wanted to create a time travel scenario in which Ryan travels back in time to stop himself from being shot from David King, but this would mean he would have to save Kyle Craig and practically hide him from his assassin. That would paint him as the enemy and get him fired from the UEG Police Department, ending his career. So that is a reason why I scrapped the idea of time traveling in the first place. And now, with a new version of the story, I made both David and Ryan live, Kyle Craig dies, but yet their is a surprise twist that I devised. No thanks to time traveling :P.
    • Anyway, to sum it all up, time traveling will just render your story/universe obsolete and make things very unrealistic and complicated.
  • Next, your ship, the Bunker_Hill-class_Super-Heavy_Multirole_Tactical_Command_Battlecarrier. JESUS CHRIST THATS A LONG NAME!
    • Now i'm not a naval fanatic, you can tell from my Shadow of Retribution carrier. So the only advice I can offer you here is:
      • Scale it down. Have the ship operate in a fleet, not just alone.
      • Follow Anonymous ONI agent's advice.

User_Andromeda_Vadum_ONI_Badge_v2.0.png Andromeda Vadum | Talk Contribs


Just create stuff that is realistic in the Halo universe. If your going to create something past says 2570's or 2580's it has to be a realistic concept or idea. Characters can be almost anything or anyone as long as they fit in the Halo universe, are at least related to Halo in some way, and are realistic. Don't forget to follow Halo Fanon:Canon Policy as this plays an important part in Vadumverse, anything that get's namespaced will no longer play a role in the Vadumverse until it can be fixed. Anyway the important rule is to just have fun. Here is the application to fill out. It helps me keep everyone organized and helps to prevent spam joins by other users. Then we'll go from there.

User_Andromeda_Vadum_ONI_Badge_v2.0.png Andromeda Vadum | Talk Contribs

Vadumverse Application

VV approved (Andromeda Vadum)

APPLICATION ACCEPTED! WELCOME TO THE TEAM!

Friday, July 3 2020 (Pacific Standard Time)

Thanks for submitting your application to Vadumverse. We were impressed by your background.
  1. If your username isn't on our list of members please add it to avoid confusion. You can add it at here.
  2. Please take the time to fill out info about your goals and how you plan to participate within Vadumverse. As well as any other infomation you that you feel is relevant on the List of Members section on the Vadumverse page.
  3. Add {{Vadumverse Updates}} to your userpage to keep up-to-date with what goes on in the universe.
  4. Any villains that you create will go in there respective categories on the Vadumverse/Antagonists page. Any good guys you create will go on the Vadumverse/Protagonists page. With categories, please add {{Vadumverse Antagonists}} for villains, and {{Vadumverse Protagonists}} for the good guys at the bottom of the character/organization article.
  5. Any non-character articles should go in the "Factions/Events/Non-Character" section, in the articles respective category.
  6. Any articles that you have created or will create that is related to Vadumverse, please add the {{Era|VV}} to the articles, as well as, add them to the Vadumverse Timeline.

Sincerely,

Andromeda Vadum (Talk) (Contribs)

It should be fairly easy to navigate around the Vadumverse page. I sure hope you can edit the information here without destroying the template, lol, as you are fairly new to wikia's code. But yeah, just fill in the placeholders with your information. Good luck and have fun! Anything you need just message me on my talk page.

User_Andromeda_Vadum_ONI_Badge_v2.0.png Andromeda Vadum | Talk Contribs

RE: Far Wanderers

Please reply on the article talkpage, not directly to my userpage.

Additionally, the changes are not adequate to remove the canon unfriendliness tag as it is still defying physics and additionally godmods the speciesm

Regards,

Scootaloo_Sig.png Scootaloo (Talk) (Contribs)   22:23, October 9, 2015 (UTC)


SmartLinkScope
Ahalosniper — That Damn Sniper, sniping — Forged in secret, tempered in fire; Cheeky Demon, God Defier
TALK CONTRIBUTIONS — Friday, July 3 2020 (Pacific Standard Time)
Sorry, but the Chancer and its deals are the work of a group of users who've been around for a while and have been working their stories and characters together for a long time. Besides, your characters are all tied up in the Far Wanderers and Lok'Varah universe you have going on. When a universe introduces a big new-species war, it usually comes to focus on that, and the Chancer is more about taking what's already in Halo and putting new spins on it. But hey, if you stick around a while and start earning some cred with writing cool articles, there could be a Chancer story one day that sees something of yours cross their path, but you've gotta build your own work up first. Cool that you're taking an interest, though, so thanks. Good luck, That Damn Sniper.



Since You Asked

001
Brodie-001 - THE CABAL:
TALK - Friday, July 3 2020
Right then, I'm actually going to address the issues for a couple of your pages on your talk page rather than going to all your articles separately as many of them share the same problems.
  • Regarding the Hell Hath No Fury, the page could do with some more elaboration on its construction and theft; the thing that gets a lot of articles NCF'ed for being unrealistic or nonsensical is a lack of detail. Much like that other ship article of yours (which has been NCF'ed already, by the way), you've tacked on so much stuff to this ship in terms of equipment and armament that it really does seem a tad overpowered. There's really no need to fill out every single section in a ship's infobox while writing it, believe me. I'd recommend scaling back (24 nukes and 4 mass drivers is a big no-no) and cutting down on the sheer amount of mostly made-up systems. Check out (but don't directly copypaste from) articles such as the Chancer V and my own Dynasty article to see how a more realistic ship design can work; the latter was also stolen by Insurrectionists, so that might help you in coming up with exactly how the Hell Hath No Fury was stolen.
  • Lord Benjamin Church - I've seen your comment on the talk page and while I can sympathise with you, but there's no denying that the character is a hugely powerful self-insert with no real explanation. Whatever your reasons, it's still very unrealistic and will likely end up with an NCF tag before long. Seriously, tone it down to within acceptable levels. I'm fine with a character becoming say, head of the Army/Navy/Marines after several decades of service, but the sheer number of high-ranking positions he's in in ridiculous. Also, please rename the page to 'Benjamin Church' as per our site's naming policy, as ranks and titles should not be included within article names.
  • Your Far Wanderers and Bunker Hill-class Super-Heavy Multirole Tactical Command Battlecarrier pages already have suggested fixes from other users, so please do as asked there before they get namespaced.

Lastly, I'd ask that you please refrain from messaging people's talk pages on the site until you've fixed up those articles, especially when you've already had feedback from a bunch of users. I get that you want people's opinions on your articles but it's getting to a point where you seem to be asking everyone you come across, even clearly inactive site members.. I've already given you explicit instructions on how to access the site's IRC channel so you can chat with users in realtime instead of sending talk page messages; it'll be MUCH easier to get feedback on your stuff that way. Best of luck to you.



RE: Question

Odin2
Brodie-001The Demon - The Fighter - The Fallen - The Survivor
TALK CONTRIBUTIONS — Friday 09:26 2020
As long as you aren't directly taking things that other users have written and inserting them into your articles it should be okay. You'll end up getting in trouble for plagiarism if it's discovered that you're copypasting stuff directly. Just use things as inspiration or a basis for your article, and remember to keep things realistic in regards to the Halo Universe.


RE: hola

Odin2
Brodie-001The Demon - The Fighter - The Fallen - The Survivor
TALK CONTRIBUTIONS — Friday 09:26 2020
If he hasn't messaged you back with permission then you can't use his stuff, sorry.


As I said before, you cannot use my articles. This extends to my mjolnir article too <Death to Heroes>[The Damned] [The Lost][The Forgotten]|Deus Ex Ajax

wut

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Ajax 013 - <Death to Heroes>[The Damned] [The Lost][The Forgotten] ObscurumVictoria :
TALK - Greenwich Mean Time
I have no idea what a "cutter-class" is




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Ajax 013 - <Death to Heroes>[The Damned] [The Lost][The Forgotten] ObscurumVictoria :
TALK - Greenwich Mean Time
Seriously?
"The Tyche has a variety of missions, such as disaster relief, anti-piracy, anti-terrorism, vessel interception and inspection and distress response."
―Directly from the article Tyche-class Cutter.


Just read the article next time.



No means no

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Ajax 013 - <Death to Heroes>[The Damned] [The Lost][The Forgotten] ObscurumVictoria :
TALK - Greenwich Mean Time
No dude. I said no. You cannot use my stuff. And as for critique and ideas, every time I offer anything to use, you ignore it. so no, please stop asking me to use my articles and to give critique. Please



Uh sure. Where do you want my analysis? Here or on the article's talk page? I'd also suggest putting a feedback template at the top of your article. This way, people viewing the page will know that critiques/tips are encouraged and you don't have to leave messages on a user talk page (Unless you specifically want them to be the ones reviewing)

All the best, MWIM My Wunderwaffle iz missin (talk) 19:41, January 13, 2016 (UTC)

RE: Halo Party Time

001
Brodie-001 - THE CABAL:
TALK - Friday, July 3 2020
Well, pretty much everyone in HPT plays solely on the Xbox One these days, so we might not be able to play together anyway. However, the page does say that we're more open to users who are more active both on the site and our IRC channel so we know who we're playing with; we prefer folks who are more familiar with our community before inviting them to join.



Really?

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Ajax 013 - <Death to Heroes>[The Damned] [The Lost][The Forgotten] ObscurumVictoria :
TALK - Greenwich Mean Time
Dude, what the hell? You copied one of my pictures, and uploaded it to a new file, without even changing the name. 500px-UNSC Phoenix black text.png has now been deleted



No

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Ajax 013 - <Death to Heroes>[The Damned] [The Lost][The Forgotten] ObscurumVictoria :
TALK - Greenwich Mean Time
No, please don't use Ajax. Please. I'm no interested in a collaboration. Please stop asking to use my stuff.




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Ajax 013 - <Death to Heroes>[The Damned] [The Lost][The Forgotten] ObscurumVictoria :
TALK - Greenwich Mean Time
I said no Church. No, you cannot use my articles, copy content from them, references them, or "be inspired" by them. And, no, sorry, I don't want to use your article




79619aacd9879f17
Minuteman 2492 - Baptized in fire, forty to one!:
TALK - Friday, July 3, 2020
Apologies for the delay in the explanation. It is up on the talk page now.


Re: Church-X071/A

Mark V Profile
S-D379 - If you're expecting something here, you're probably disappointed by now.:
TALK - 04:26, January 27, 2016 (UTC). Today is Friday, July 3, 2020
As of now, I don't see any mistakes, but that's only me. Contact an admin and see if it is fixed enough to be removed of the NCF stamp. Personally, I think you need to more expand on his backstory, how he became what he is, and all his missions. This will make for a good-to-read article, as currently there is nothing of much to read.

Regards.


RE: NCF

001
Brodie-001 - THE CABAL:
TALK - Friday, July 3 2020
Having looked over the article, I really think you need to take Minuteman's advice into account first, since in its current state it's still not very realistic.



RE:Plagiarism Tag and Advice

001
Brodie-001 - THE CABAL:
TALK - Friday, July 3 2020
Hey there, apologies if I haven't been able to get to your stuff quicker. This is going to be a long message since I'd rather not have to deal with the constant back and forth of talk page correspondence, so pay attention.

I checked your RHONGOMYNIAD page and immediately found evidence of plagiarism after copying a few sentences into Google:

""The amount of support that the suit provides is greatly increased from the MJOLNIR model, increasing the user’s strength and speed, stamina no longer becoming an issue. The servos enable a wearer to sprint up extremely steep slopes and safely land from heights of over forty meters.""
―You've just copied it from part of this page and swapped a few words around.


See, now here's the problem: Because you've been found plagiarising stuff before, we have to check every bit of your article to make sure you're not copying stuff again. Being inspired by a design from elsewhere is fine so long as you're not directly ripping bits off wikia pages. Also, its ability to slow down time simply isn't possible and should be removed to avoid an NCF tag.

Now, I'd like to address an overarching issue with some of your work on this site and hopefully solve this problem now so it doesn't get dragged out. Frankly, it's to do with making things that are implausibly overpowered without any real reason. Perhaps it's just because I don't write tech articles, but I just don't see the point in creating a ship or armour or something that an more or less destroy anything in its path. Putting aside the Haloverse implications of technological levels and monetary costs, story-wise it's just sort of boring to read another superpowered piece of technology (and I have seen a lot of those in my years on here). Mostly I just use pre-existing technology in the Haloverse since we already know the limits of these devices, making them fun to use in writing.

The same goes with characters. Saying that someone's the absolute best at just about everything eliminates any kind of conflict; again, it makes them boring. Everyone has genuine flaws, both physical and mental, that make them interesting to read. It's like if you're playing a game and you start at the max level with everything unlocked, there's not really much point to anything once you're working with something like that. Working in flaws is especially important if you're writing a Spartan, since they were trained to be the absolute best that mankind could make them. You have to juggle their superhuman nature with making them interesting as characters.

I've noticed you asking people for ideas and inspiration with your work. While it's fine to ask for advice it's really something you should come up with on your own if you want to make original content within the Haloverse. I've played games and seen films that have inspired me to write something similar on Halo Fanon, but I do so by adjusting these elements so they'd work within this universe. Keeping things realistic to the Halo universe is really important to the folks on this site, which is why we crack down hard on people plagiarising from other site. Personally I'd advise that you consider rewriting some of your stuff to fit in with more recent stuff in the Haloverse, since we've got no idea what canonically happens after 2558 at this point and shoving stuff towards the end of the 26th Century can make proper critique difficult.

Lastly, I hope this stuff sticks when it comes to writing future stuff. Ajax has already warned you about copying stuff from other sites and will make good on his promise of a ban if more plagiarised work is found. I'd just say to tone some stuff down, read up more about the lore on Halopedia and follow our canon policy properly. Your "War" article's genuinely good stuff for a first story of sorts on the site, so hopefully we'll see you improve more here. Thanks.



Page Lock

Savier zerker
Anonymous ONI agent - Gwneud o dân, a gyda chalonnau wneud o iâ.
"From this moment onward, you are Egon Talorus. And to humanity, you are everything.":

TALK - 23:04, January 29, 2016 (UTC)
Ajax locked the page because other users were beginning to gang up on you, and we didn't want any fights breaking out. That's all.



Hey Church, my intentions when I commented on the talk page were to give my opinion, and in no way to gang up on anybody. Some people are seeing the constant criticism from everyone as dog piling, but I see it as helping. I noticed that your articles improve after a lot of people mention mistakes, and I just wanted to contribute. I'm not sure how you see the talk page as, so this post was to try and show both sides. Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I hope that Ajax will remove the lock, like you do. KingOfYou115 (talk) 23:54, January 29, 2016 (UTC)

RE: Writer's Block

Odin2
Brodie-001The Demon - The Fighter - The Fallen - The Survivor
TALK CONTRIBUTIONS — Friday 09:26 2020
As I've told you before, tech articles aren't my thing so I can't really give you any advice on what to write with them. I'm really hoping that you take the advice already given by myself and other users into account when writing stuff in the future, though. I think you should take this time to rethink what you want your universe to really be about, while making sure that it's properly realistic towards the Haloverse. When I'm not sure of what to write I usually just browse through Halopedia for ideas, though it's important to make sure whatever you write is actually original. It's really not that difficult to come up with character names and ideas that aren't blatant ripoffs of existing work.



S013-Banner
Ajax 013 - <Death to Heroes>[The Damned] [The Lost][The Forgotten] ObscurumVictoria :
TALK - Greenwich Mean Time
This is now your first official ban for plagiarism.

After once already being warned, you actually re-added a chunk of copied text back again.

So, from here on, you are banned for 24 hours. Consider this your first ban warning. You next instance of plagiarism will result in longer bans



Problem with your articles

CaWLogo
Sev40 - Do you know the difference between an error and a mistake, Ensign? Anyone can make an error. But that error doesn't become a mistake until you refuse to correct it:
TALK - 10:13, Thursday, February 18, 2016 (Australian Eastern Standard Time)
Church, you clearly have no idea what you're doing. You're building everything in a vacuum under the pretense that "its the future, everything will make sense then." There's a reason why you're getting slapped with NCF and Unrealistic tags, and things need to change. I'm under the influence that you don't know what you're doing, and you seriously need help.

I seriously recommend that you scrap the entire... time period? Universe? Whatever, put it on hold for now. Instead, start working on articles that take place during the Insurrection or the Human-Covenant War. No, I don't mean that they mention they are built then, or serve a single battle; I meant they spend most of their lives there, fighting in several key battles, being re-purposed or modified. If you need them to serve outside of those periods, make sure it doesn't exceed the Post-Covenant War period. There are enough ships around that should give you a scaffold of what sort of technology, roles and design features that could influence your designs. Same with character articles.

This may come off hard, and since I have no authority to force this on you, you may ignore it. But I'm worried that you'll just keep creating OP and unrealistic ships, making it harder for you to enjoy writing. I'm willing to offer help, and as others had done they can too, only if you agree to listen to our feedback to fix your articles, not outright ignore it. Ajax gave you a large amount of feedback you could use.



Re: Priest

No, I meant just Church-X071/A. But dude, you really gotta work on your article's canon friendliness quick, or there wont be anything to rename, 'cause it'll go under namespace D: So, good luck in improving it.

Cheers. S-D379 [COMMS] [Service Record] 16:23, February 19, 2016 (UTC)

RE: Article Critique

Odin2
Brodie-001The Demon - The Fighter - The Fallen - The Survivor
TALK CONTRIBUTIONS — Friday 09:26 2020
I've already told you multiple times that ship articles aren't my thing, so aside from pointing out glaringly obvious flaws I really won't be much help. You really don't have to go round asking people every time you make a page to look at your stuff; if people want to say something then they'll say it, be it praise or pointing out problems.


Third and Final Warning

S013-Banner
Ajax 013 - <Death to Heroes>[The Damned] [The Lost][The Forgotten] ObscurumVictoria :
TALK - Greenwich Mean Time
This is your third and final warning for plagiarism. Again on the UNSC Achlys, you plagiarised my articles. In response, you have been banned for 7 days.

If you wish to correspond regarding this, you can still edit this page.



Re: Third and Final Warning

Well, can ya'll unblock me so i can fix this??, look, my brain is weird like this, i use other stuff as "fillers" so i can then fill in with my own designs, which i was in the process of doing.

If you'll unblock me, i will fix it. My sincerest apologies guys, im still trying to find my writing niche so to speak.

Respectfully,

Church

--Admiral Benjamin Church (talk) 01:52, March 11, 2016 (UTC) Admiral_Benjamin_Church

Do you know the definition of plagiarism? It's when you use someone's work and call it your own. You do that when you paste in someone else's work because you are saying that you wrote it, which you didn't. When you edit it and add your own text to try and hide the fact that you are too lazy to write your own work from scratch, you are still plagiarizing because you still didn't write it. Write the whole thing yourself. If you love the idea that someone wrote and you want to have something similar, open notepad or word and write a brief description of the idea. Make it in your own words! Now, later that day, when you forget the exact wording of the page, read the brief description you wrote and write about the object on the wiki. Your wording will be much different from the original, and you won't be marked for plagiarism.

KingOfYou115 (talk) 12:44, March 11, 2016 (UTC)

Not a bad idea

i am definently going to do that now

Regards,

Church

--Admiral Benjamin Church (talk) 14:08, March 11, 2016 (UTC) Admiral_Benjamin_Church

RE: We have a problem

Odin2
Brodie-001The Demon - The Fighter - The Fallen - The Survivor
TALK CONTRIBUTIONS — Friday 09:26 2020
Regarding your problem, I think this might have happened before on the site as an annoying pop-up ad of sorts, though it doesn't seem to last long. I'd recommend getting something like Adblock if it persists, or if it happens again please screenshot it so I can contact wikia and ask for their help. Thanks.


Just Stop

S013-Banner
Ajax 013 - <Death to Heroes>[The Damned] [The Lost][The Forgotten] ObscurumVictoria :
TALK - Greenwich Mean Time
No, just no.

Yes, Magnetic Anomaly Detectors do exist in real life, and what is their use in real life? They are used to detect submarines, from the magnetic displacement caused by their disruption of a magnetic field. Something that wouldn't happen in deep space.

And to wit, they aren't utilised for detecting magnetic fields produced by machines, such as reactors, shields, energy weapons, etc. MADs have never been used in this role. Neither have they ever been used in this role in fiction. This is a concept developed by me, using features not seen in real world MAD sensors, written through quite a hefty amount of research by myself.

And normally, I wouldn't be too fussed about something appearing on somebody's article. Except you've been copying my articles verbatim for months now, so I find it extremely hard to believe "you just came up with this" especially when you've previously copied and posted it from my articles several times over.

So yes, you're plagiarising me. You have been doing this for months. And the bottom line? You cannot copy my article. You cannot utilise my work. You cannot copy and paste from other websites. Please remove it, and please stop copying my work. This is getting beyond belief now.




Kyle115
KingOfYou115 - "Justin, on three. Ready? Three!" - Liv-D124:
TALK - 12:22 EST. * KingOfYou115 throws a book at <insert name here>.
I know that this can be considered eavesdropping, but I tend to read conversations that I'm not a part of. I saw that you asked Ajax about "Test Test Test", and that was because he was testing for the bug/glitch/hacker/whatever that was messing with your page. He was testing if that Russian gibberish would appear again, and it didn't.


I apologize for that. First timer "skill" I guess. Thank you for the help though. Also I was wondering how do I place photos in the infoboxs. I've seen multiple ways to do so, but all do not work. LaughingLion4f7c7f5aa7ea8.jpg here is the photo. I just don't know what to do.

Thank you, —BEN THE BEST456 16:10, April 22, 2016 (UTC)

Hull classification

Google is your friend.

Regards,

Sabre_Dance_Transparent.png Sabre Dance (Talk) (Contribs) 00:42, April 23, 2016 (UTC)

Talk Page Clearing

79619aacd9879f17
Minuteman 2492 - Baptized in fire, forty to one!:
TALK - Friday, July 3, 2020
Hello. As you probably could tell, I reverted your talk page clearing edit on UNSC Fate of the Gods. As knowledge for going forward, we do not clear talk pages here at Halo Fanon. It is mostly a logging issue so that people can see the history of the page if need be, so please take care to observe this rule in the future.



SmartLinkScope
Ahalosniper — That Damn Sniper, sniping — Forged in secret, tempered in fire; Cheeky Demon, God Defier
TALK CONTRIBUTIONS — Friday, July 3 2020 (Pacific Standard Time)
Hey there, quick ask for you. If you haven't settled on a final name for you ship yet, next time you move it, could you unclick the box that says "Leave a redirect page"? It just means I have to go through and delete manually all these redirect and talk redirect pages. Also, remember there's a preview button in the editor, so you don't have to clog up the Recent Changes page with a million minor edits. Thanks, That Damn Sniper.



Anomaly and Query

SmartLinkScope
Ahalosniper — That Damn Sniper, sniping — Forged in secret, tempered in fire; Cheeky Demon, God Defier
TALK CONTRIBUTIONS — Friday, July 3 2020 (Pacific Standard Time)
Greet'ns. Just kinda wanted to stop by 'cause something that seemed kind of unusual to me cropped up. I might be totally off with this, but when the new user User:Admiral Tucket showed up today, a couple things struck me as odd. Firstly, the name, which could easily be just coincidence, then the fact his account has edited nowhere previously, and that he's also got the same style of editing you do, with several (unmarked) minor edits rather than using Preview (which please, by the way, use the Preview button). If it's a separate account that you have for whatever reason, maybe easier on another device or something, I need to warn you that it'd count as sockpuppeting, which we frown upon (mostly because users in years past tried it to swing the numbers in votes on things). If not, nothing to worry about, just thought I'd check. In fact, since he appears to be into ships, too, you might consider reaching out to him, see if he's interested in any collaboration if you are.

Meanwhile, separate topic, I noticed on Bloodless Knight that you've got a light freighter with three Archer Missile pods. Perhaps I'm biased just because I have my own Argo-class transport, but a 50 by 50 by 30 meter vessel seems a little small to be carrying those, in my opinion. Archers, to my mind, are big battleship weapons, not carried by even the souped-up freighters just because they'd be impractically large. I suppose you could argue it's in the far future of Halo in the 2590s with your Far Wanderer War, but by then I'd imagine something they'd have something supersede a design nearly a century old by that point, even half a century with the "new" M58 Archers on the Infinity. Something to consider.

Regards, That Damn Sniper.




SmartLinkScope
Ahalosniper — That Damn Sniper, sniping — Forged in secret, tempered in fire; Cheeky Demon, God Defier
TALK CONTRIBUTIONS — Friday, July 3 2020 (Pacific Standard Time)
Nah, the process for that is really complicated, and I'm sure there are plenty of other "Admiral X" names across the hundreds (thousands?) of wikis out there. Just wondered if he and you were the same because you're both on Halo Fanon.



Seeing as you have also requested to collaborate with me I would love to do so with you. What did you plan for us to do if you're offer still stands?

--Admiral Tucket (talk) 00:05, May 10, 2016 (UTC) Admiral Tucket (still figuring everything out for my profile)


RE: RE: Collaboration Offer

Well I was hoping with what I have read so far that maybe we could do like a major battle between UNSC and Insurrectionists or perhaps a human and covie conflict. If this idea does not suit you perhaps we could try something else

--Admiral Tucket (talk) 21:32, May 10, 2016 (UTC)


Kyle115
KingOfYou115 - "You aren't true Spartans until you fought a war." - Kyle-B115:
TALK - 15:46 EST. * KingOfYou115 throws a book at <insert name here>.
2 things:
  1. Can we just label the Nebraska-class Cruiser and UNSC Endurance pages as Humor articles at this point?
  2. You tend to leave a lot of messages on talk pages, how about you make a custom signature (like the one I'm using, or one of those small signatures)? Considering how much you leave messages, you might as well make one.



Kyle115
KingOfYou115 - "Anyone got eyes on the major?" - Kyle-B115:
TALK - 16:32 EST. * KingOfYou115 throws a book at <insert name here>.
Well, you're writing the two pages with a bit more humor in general, but it was just a suggestion in case you wanted to just fill the page with jokes.

As for the signature, if you want a big one, like the one I am using, create a page called Template:AdmChurchSig or something similar (I redlinked the page in case you just want to use that name). Then copy and change the code found on my sig (in source editor) to your preferences. If you want a small sig, just create a template page and format what you want the small sig to look like. I think there is also a setting that allows you to change what ~~~~ does, so you can use that. For the big sig, use {{AdmChurchSig|time=<the time you wrote the message>|text=<the message>}}. For the small sig, just use {{AdmChurchSig}} at the end of the message, similar to the ~~~~.


Re: Signature

Odin2
Brodie-001The Demon - The Fighter - The Fallen - The Survivor
TALK CONTRIBUTIONS — Friday 09:26 2020
Using the layout on this page as a guide, just make a page called 'Template:ChurchSig' or something along those lines. You can mess around with colours and images to create your own unique signature this way.



Kyle115
KingOfYou115 - "Wise ass." - Zachary Rayne:
TALK - 17:46 EST. * KingOfYou115 throws a book at <insert name here>.
Look's good! If you want, you can add something to the "sig" field on the template to have something (a quote, an article link, etc.) next to your name (mine is the changing quote that varies between Kyle, Justin, and Will). Also, I assume you are from the Central Time Zone, according to the time you left the message. If that's the case, change the EST to CT or Central, as right now it's saying that you left the message over an hour ago, even though you didn't. Other than that, it looks great.



Kyle115
KingOfYou115 - "Justin, on three. Ready? Three!" - Liv-D124:
TALK - 15:00 EST. * KingOfYou115 throws a book at <insert name here>.
Hey Church, I noticed that you created many ship articles with similar names (each being named after a US state). For starters, List the UNSC Nebraska as the flagship of the Nebraska-class Cruiser, as that is where the class name comes from. Second, only create the ship-class pages if you have the intent of doing something with them, as right now they are blank pages that will most likely be forgotten. I recommend having a very important reason for this massive number of classes to all be named after states, considering that there are only 50 states, and much more UNSC ships. Odds are, if the UNSC would name ships after the US states, they would either be in the same class, same type of ship (frigate, cruiser, etc.), or, if they are to be completely unrelated, would not all be the flagships of their respective lines.


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