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Format

Nominations MUST follow every requirement set forth in this section HERE, refusal to do so will result in your nomination being removed from consideration. To submit an article for candidacy in the Good Articles project, please use the format seen below:

===[[ARTICLE NAME]]===
*'''Writer —''' {{Name|USERNAME}}
*'''Nominator —''' {{Name|USERNAME}}
*'''Date of Creation —''' Month Day, Year
*'''Date of Nomination —''' Month Day, Year
*'''Description —''' Describe the Good Article candidate in an effective way with as few words as possible.
*'''Why —''' In your opinion, why should this article be granted the honor of Good Article status?
*'''Status —''' The present status of the article as a Good Article candidate (FOR JUDICIARY PURPOSES ONLY!)

====Voting====

====Comments====
<nowiki></nowiki>

Nominations

Grono 'Yendam

  • Writer - UnggoyZealot
  • Nominator - UnggoyZealot
  • Date of Creation - January 7th, 2018
  • Date of Nomination - February 11th, 2018
  • Description - Once a righteous Sangheili warrior, Grono 'Yendam realized that honour can only get you so far, before going rogue.
  • Why - I know it is very early to submit an article of this age, but I want to see what you guys have to say about it, and see what I can do to get it to GA status if it does not make it there. Feedback away!
  • Status - GA status granted.

Voting

  1. Support Support — Good on you for being proactive about getting the feedback you need to continue developing. Well, it's certainly got length, image, and format requirements down. Going as I read, "Whereabouts" should probably be "Sources" or the sentence otherwise reworked. The anecdote about meeting Nak could probably be expanded upon, if only a little since we have the character play into Grono's story later; he just humiliated a young noble, and that's not going to be viewed as insignificant. Whether there's a vengeful response to protect the Kaidon's familial reputation or a lack thereof because the Kaidon is just and wishes Nak to learn humility, it could be stated, and whether his own uncles are proud or lecture him because they fear reprisal, as well. I find it a little odd Grono's trained after being assigned to a Fleet, since every Sangheili child is supposedly taught to fight, but there'd probably be some more precise training to be a soldier in a Warrior Creche, which you could work in just by changing a little terminology. There are definitely some sections where your level of detail gets too far into the nitty-gritty because you're trying to tell a story you aren't planning to write in prose, which is an issue I raise a lot regarding character articles. I would advise you to summarize the sides of an argument when one occurs, and not give a play-by-play of dialogue and responses, saving any particular lines you have in mind for Quote or Dialogue templates. The same with some of the fights you describe; all we need is who came out on top and how close it was, and if you really want to emphasize its importance, adjectives describing how long or hard-fought it was. If you really want to give an account blow by blow of a fight you have in mind, you can always write it up as a short prose piece. I actually like that your Personality and Traits section seems to recap a lot of events in the bio and point out conclusions, as an article about a canon character would do. Overall, I'm comfortable enough to support it as the content here is well-written, with attention paid to avoiding simple spelling mistakes, and has format down pat, but I would really push for some cutting down of detail, especially if most of the Human-Covenant War information is meant as backstory to a character you want to use primarily as a post-war mercenary. That Damn Sniper 01:01, February 15, 2018 (UTC)
  2. Support Support — Sniper seems to have covered most points in the article in his comment above, though I do have a few minor gripes. There's a number of run-on sentences (unless you're making a list you shouldn't have any more than around two commas per sentence) and the infobox could be better formatted - capitalise things like his eye colour and bullet-point any lists - I'd say that this is definitely of GA quality. Well done! Brodie-001: Here to help
  3. Oppose Oppose — This is a hard call for me. I really like the content here: Grono's growth as a character is well thought out and the interactions with other characters feels organic in a way that I don't often see in articles. However I can't overlook the formatting issues, particularly with run on sentences and unnecessarily capitalized words. As Sniper points out above, there are a lot of play-by-play descriptions of events that could be summed up with more brevity. I recommend a full proofread to cut down on these issues--it's nothing a careful reading of the full article can't fix. Actene: If This Is To End In Fire, Then We'll Burn Together

Comments

UZPic04
UnggoyZealot - <insert name here> is a bully! And do you know what I do to bullies? I use my Anti-Bully Blamite, that's what!:
TALK - Sunday 00:38 2019
Thanks to you, Sniper! I have gone ahead and done that! Thank you again!


Sarah-184

  • Writer — Timothy Emeigh
  • Nominator — S-D379
  • Date of Creation — April 27, 2016
  • Date of Nomination — February 14, 2018
  • Description — A former Class II washout who underwent rehabilitation to become a Spartan once more, spending her life as a Spartan recruit, an ODST, a SPARTAN-II, and a SPARTAN-IV, Sarah is in my opinion on the best Class II SPARTAN articles we have on this wiki, and a well-written one at that, being a FotM winner and a former AA nominee itself.
  • Why — I think in my opinion Tim mainly deserves credit how he used only a short duration of time to elaborately expand Sarah's page, surprising the likes of many. That being said, Tim has done a really great job in fleshing out Sarah as a person, how she handled the changes in her life from a trainee to an ODST to a SPARTAN. One of my two objections with the article would be Tim's rather unusual idea of image placement, but even then, it neatly and properly breaks text walls from getting too big, while keeping the page's looks more lively. The other one would be redundancy in using multiple CSV templates for her separated careers, but these two are really nothing in the grandeur of the page itself.
  • Status — Nomination failed.

Voting

  1. Oppose Oppose — Unfortunately, I'm going to have to oppose this one. It's of good length and decently written, but the formatting needs some work. I'm not sure if having the images in the center of the page is a stylistic choice or not, but it proves very distracting when reading through the article. I would also recommend a general proofread of the page; though I didn't find any egregious grammar issues several sentences have awkward wording. There are some bits handling Sarah's character development, but for the most part it consists of battle descriptions strung together rather than a narrative that builds on who Sarah is as a character. Actene: If This Is To End In Fire, Then We'll Burn Together
  2. Oppose Oppose — I'm afraid I'll have to agree with Actene's points here. The page could really do with some reformatting and proofreading to improve its quality to GA standard. Brodie-001: Here to help
  3. Oppose Oppose — The first thing I'd do is shrink the infobox image down to take up less than half the page, using "|300px" inside the brackets linking to the image, because its height makes it dominate the page upon first viewing it. I'd also move the multiple names from appearing under the image to the Name slot in the infobox, as they look better as an alias list when they're aligned left down there instead of centered with their differing lengths above. I'm also in agreement with the above points about images in the body of the article, as they provide wide breaks in the text which pull the reader out by making them have to seek the next part; feel free to ask around or peek at the code of other articles to see how to align and shrink them. I also have to concur with the awkwardness of some text things; to get you started, strike that first comma after the name, and for flow, I'd recommend cutting the second sentence and adding a note about working with the program again where it's appropriate chronologically. I think the main thing really is pervasive convention errors, like "to" in place of "too", odd commas, and sentences oddly phrased. They're enough to keep me supporting for now, but the good news is I don't see anything in her story I'd consider bordering NCF, so with some ironing out of wrinkles, I could see her being back to earn the GA icon very soon. That Damn Sniper 05:25, March 7, 2018 (UTC)
  4. Oppose Oppose — I'm gonna have to agree with the others here. From a writing standpoint there isn't much to complain about, aside from the character development gripes Actene brought up which I will have to concur with, but in its current state the formatting is not up to par, as has been stated. I am also confused as to why the page is named Sarah-184 if that's not the name she identifies herself with. On Halopedia, we have Kurt's page named as Kurt Ambrose, not Kurt-051, and Osman's page as Serin Osman, not Serin-019. Additionally, you should absolutely not have four CSVs one after the other; they should at least be in a tabber IMO. And the entire point of a CSV is to condense a soldier's service history down into one single simple, easily digestible document; splitting their career up into four of them defeats the entire purpose. So I am definitely going to have to say no to this one, at least until some major reworking is done to the page itself. DemonsofHope »Anonymous ONI agent« [COMMS] [SERVICE RECORD]

Comments

Jez 'Varum

  • Writer — S-D379
  • Nominator — S-D379
  • Date of Creation — February 14, 2016
  • Date of Nomination — February 28, 2018
  • Description — Jez 'Varum was a loyal Sangheili who faced problems on his homeworld Qikost, which caused a huge duel and his banishment from the planet. Joining the Covenant, he began to doubt its beliefs battle by battle before breaking away during the pivotal Battle of the Repository, allying with the Swords of Sanghelios. He was an important figure as he helped Thel make a better Sanghelios, and was a well-known Sangheili to many.
  • Why — Honestly, I think if I work more on this article, it'd deserve its GA status even more, but as of now, I feel it's pretty good as well. Jez was a fun character to write—being my first try at a Sangheili character infact—even winning last year March's Fanon of the Month status and getting nominated as Best Sangheili Character in HF's 2017 Annual Awards. My primary objective here was to get more critique and feedback from the GA panel judges, and possibly even win GA status as an added bonus, because why not?
  • Status — Granted GA status.

Voting

  1. Support Support — Just for future reference, you should nominate pages for Good Articles because you believe they have a level of quality that deserves it, not just because you want critique on your page with the GA award as an afterthought. That aside, the page is of good quality, though I'd be wary of making things too descriptive in an article; the part where Jez fights Fenr reads more like the kind of blow-by-blow account you'd get in a story instead of a brief description of how the fight went and its outcome that could fit into about half a paragraph instead of nearly two. Also, try to limit information on battles to things Jez is directly involved with. I used to have a similar issue where I'd describe parts of a battle that the character itself wasn't there for; a brief overview is fine for context, just try to include only the things that are relevant to your character though. Brodie-001: Here to help
  2. Oppose Oppose — I find myself more lenient regarding the submission for feedback angle, since GA doesn't get a whole lot of nominations at one time, but should that ever change, something like a revival of the Critical Review board working on a submission basis might not be out of place. Anyway. I think the tag for that quote could be reworded to eliminate the "to him", which makes the sentence a little odd. The first paragraph of the intro I think is pretty vague and could probably be done entirely without, since it adds up to stating his life's story is different than that of the Sangheili ideal. Which, within the next line is sorta contradicted, as every Sangheili wants to be a warrior and the Covenant is the main outlet for that, so they're all very interested in it. "kicking him out" I find a more distinctly human phrase than something like "expelled", which isn't a requirement but something neat to see when reading a Sangheili article, choosing diction that sets you more in the mood of alien viewpoints. I'm surprised you don't have him buy into the Covenant religion from the beginning; the Covenant religion is taught on Sanghelios, even the older ones being based on the same Forerunner ruins as the San'Shyuum based theirs on, so it's more likely he'd have grown up taught it. There are some sentences, like "In this, the other states were being destroyed." which do the job of describing what's going on fine, but don't do much beyond that and I know you're capable of better. I'm in agreement with Brodie on the fight's descriptive length; I know you want to let it run long to give it significance, but that emphasis could be better accomplished with build-up and a concise description that gets across that it went back and forth and ended brutally. "So aren't we." really should be "Neither are we." Overall, I think the ideas are fine, but the articulation of them into writing just isn't on GA level yet, and I know CB is capable of it as seen on pages like Tyler-A319. A once-over rewrite from him, though, and I could see it coming back to have my support. That Damn Sniper 09:21, March 9, 2018 (UTC)
  3. Support Support — A tough call for me, but although I agree with Snipers syntax and grammar corrections I feel that this article's strengths outweigh its faults. I really like the visual presentation in this article and while the story itself could definitely use some trimming and a proofread I felt very much attuned to Jez's character development while reading it and at the end of the day that's the core of what I'm looking for in an article. Actene: If This Is To End In Fire, Then We'll Burn Together
  4. Support Support — While I too have a number of issues with this article, I don't think that any are glaring enough to warrant a vote of opposition. The article is overall well laid-out and is pleasant to read, and while I agree with Sniper's wording nitpicks, they are at the same time exactly that: nitpicks. However, there are some things that stood out to me personally that I would like to see changed. The first is that the personality section states that "Jez was, however, known to have taken a few decisions in rage and/or seeking honor... While most of these decisions proved to be luckily advantageous, Jez tried to control himself as much as he can while full of anger and rage." This is a cop out. If your character flaw is for the most part an advantage, then it's not really a character flaw. Additionally, there are very few instances in warfare in which acting blindly in anger will get you anywhere except killed, so I have a very hard time believing that this trait could ever prove advantageous in all but the most niche of circumstances. Additionally, acting in a manner contrary to common sense in the interest of upholding personal or familial honor is pretty much a species-wide trait for the Sangheili, so I would personally strive to make his personal character flaw[s] a bit more unique to him specifically. The other thing that stood out to me is the mention of "Covenant Separatists", which stuck me as odd because AFAIK the Covenant Separatists haven't been a thing since at least the release of Halo 4. Overall, however, as I said previously I can't see anything significant enough to warrant a vote against from me. DemonsofHope »Anonymous ONI agent« [COMMS] [SERVICE RECORD]

Comments

Redmond Venter

  • Writer — Actene
  • Nominator — Spartan-D042
  • Date of Creation — April 14, 2010
  • Date of Nomination — March 22, 2018
  • Description — A street urchin who grows from a troubled youth, to an elite UNSC operator, to an infamous insurrectionist commander whose actions are felt throughout the galaxy.
  • Why — Venter is one of the key players in Actene's vast cast of characters, Venter is the epitome of a complex character, who's motivations and actions are just well written enough to keep him sympathetic and compelling. Seeing his development build through the article, as well as seeing where he ends up in Actene's other pages, gives him an incredibly interesting arc. Plus, in addition to having his own stories to tell, the humanization of the Hound Unit provided in this article has totally altered how I watch RvB, and that's pretty damn cool. As far as villains go, he's among my favorite on site, and is well deserving of GA in my opinion.
  • Status — Granted GA status.

Voting

  1. Support Support — Meets length, image, and conventions requirements. Having read through the article just about every time Actene's made a substantial addition, I'm familiar enough with it to know I haven't got any error complaints. Having not yet reached even the Mamore phase, the article has a long way to go, more backstory being detailed than chronicling of what's occurred in prose stories, but as such, the events of those tales can be read in the story pages, while the article gives a deeper look at the character's background. And even thus far, it makes for a heck of a story in its own. That Damn Sniper 01:36, March 23, 2018 (UTC)
  2. Support Support — Venter is a page I've been aware of since my earlier days on the site, and having seen Actene's constant rewrites and improvements on the page over the years to bring it up to its current level I think it's a good pick for GA. It's a great read and I highly recommend it to all users looking for inspiration on how to write a compelling rebel character. Brodie-001: Here to help
  3. Support Support — I was tempted to vote against this one simply because it's been a few years since Venter's article won in the Best Rebel category and I still haven't reached the part of the biography where he joins the Insurrection. With that being said I do appreciate the way this character has evolved from a one-dimensional villain to someone a lot more nuanced. I often voice my disapproval of the effort to incorporate elements of RvB into canon, but the way it worked out with Venter is the one thing that keeps me from removing the RvB references entirely. Actene: If This Is To End In Fire, Then We'll Burn Together
  4. Support Support — It's hard to criticise Actene's articles because he has done everything right here, and the only thing I can nitpick is that a few of the pictures could be set to alternate the sides - though that's not so much an issue then a preference. The Sigma Octanus link is broken in the "Back Into The Fire" section. Besides that, I'm surprised it never got the GA status before. Sev The past, the present, and the future.

Comments

Jay-I425

  • Writer — JayStopMotionAndMore
  • Nominator — JayStopMotionAndMore
  • Date of Creation — June 7th, 2017
  • Date of Nomination — March 25th, 2018
  • Description — A Spartan who has gone through plenty of battles, Jay-I425 has fought both Covenant and Insurrectionists. Going through many variations of missions, he is extremely devoted to his team. Even his death was to save his team.
  • Why — While there are certain parts that are still a little unpolished, I believe I at least have managed to improve most bits of the article that were reasons for the article being opposed earlier. While I'm still a bit unsure, I think it might be good for Good Article status.
  • Status — Nomination failed.

Voting

  1. Oppose Oppose — Well, I'm glad to see more images used in the article since its last nomination, though it wouldn't hurt to put a few aligned left instead of right to give some variety, at whatever rate you think makes for a nice balance. There has been a substantial amount of content added as well, but looking back to my comments from November, length was never a problem I had; small but persistent issues with sentences such as extra commas and grammatical hiccups were, and what was there before has gone through little revision. If you'd like, I could provide the proofreading to show what exacting standards I'm looking for. As for the additions, I feel you addressed Sev's prior comment about a lack of detail, but may have overcorrected; in sections like Shieldum and Falaknuma, you're describing fights punch-for-punch, which is closer to what should be in a story instead of an article. The attack by an Elite in Shieldum is really inconsequential--if they were attacked, say they dealt with it, and if it's really important to the story, include one detail like how he managed to wound a teammate, but what should be important is stating the impact of the fight on their mission. Did it get them spotted and an alarm raised? If not, why is this fight even important to talk about aside from detailing a fight more fit for a story version of the events? I was also concerned last time by the abduction of a brother and sister side by side, which hasn't changed; not that I'm demanding you change your story to suit me to earn GA standing, but I do feel that taking two related children for the same unit needs justifying. Maybe the Incognito program is really desperate for recruits, which would be fine if they're a very secretive program that can't reveal itself to ask for more resources, but it needs to be stated when Jay or Jayne, as siblings, might one day decide not to complete a mission which could save millions if it means saving their sibling. Beyond that, while I'm still wary of Incognito Company as a concept just to facilitate -I### Spartan tags, which could open a floodgate for -W25 and -X33 tags like they're pulled from Halo 3, I'm willing to let it slide for the amount of work you've put into that concept, and that it hasn't truly broken any establishment of canon. Given the team of what appear to be your main characters are then removed from that company a la Noble, however, I'd still strongly recommend converting Jay and Anchor Team into Alphas and Betas. I started with my own characters from an original class, the S-II Betas, way back when, and while converting them was a pain, it paid off a lot for me since then, so do consider it. That Damn Sniper 22:35, March 26, 2018 (UTC)
  2. Oppose Oppose — Sniper pointed out a lot of the key flaws here so I won't pile on too much. I encountered way too many spelling and punctuation errors for my liking. As I often do in these cases I would recommend a full re-read of the page as I'm sure a lot of them can be fixed in a single proofreading session. I do like the layout of the page, though I suggest making the images a bit larger. I would also cut down on some of the less consequential battles--some of the engagements that consist of just a few sentences feel more like filler content than anything else. Actene: If This Is To End In Fire, Then We'll Burn Together
  3. Oppose Oppose — As per the others, the page could still do with some tune-ups with proper capitalisation and the formatting to really give it that push into GA territory, though I do recognise that you've clearly put a lot of work into the page. In regards to the personality section, you're edging pretty close to the common writing error on this site of having a character who despite coming off as something of an outcast, is also described as sociable and is given a team leader's position. I'd pick a side to veer towards and stay on it, since they're unlikely to put someone who isn't leader material or who doesn't want the job in charge of the group fresh out of training. Also, while it's a minor thing, perhaps you should note that Jay only perceives the SPARTAN-IV's as arrogant instead of saying that they simply are since it's a bit of a sweeping statement. That way the article takes more of a neutral tone as a record of Jay's life. Brodie-001: Here to help

Comments

The Silent Garden

  • Writer — Distant Tide
  • Nominator — Distant Tide
  • Date of Creation — March 9th, 2018
  • Date of Nomination — April 3rd, 2018
  • Description — A faster-than-light communications array built within the deep digital sea that is the Forerunner Domain. Its origins are unknown. How it functions is also unknown. However, it's calling out to be used and calling out to expand. It wants to grow, encompass the galaxy once again. With great power, there is a great mystery.
  • Why — It just won Fanon of the Month. It might be too early to be submitting this article for Good Article status but it just about finished as far as I can tell. I'll leave that decision up to you guys on the panel. May I emphasize that ya'll pass any grammar or plotting errors you might detect? Thank you.
  • Status — Granted GA status.

Voting

  1. Support Support — Article does meet length, image, redlink, and creation date requirements, so on to content. Given it lacks an infobox (which, fair, I can't immediately think of an infobox type that would cover this subject), I'd recommend putting the first image after the quote, so the opening quote itself really stands out to get the viewer's attention as soon as they've clicked in, as it does handle a fair bit of introduction to the article's concept. A lot actually, as the intro paragraphs themselves are more commentary on how Humans and Covenant have handled Forerunner tech than definition for this specific concept. I'd normally take issue with that, but for this specific subject, I kinda like how you have to look elsewhere for a real understanding. Also, "technological" should probably have an -ly in the first proper paragraph. The Terminology section is also really helpful, and useful in its up-front placement, not only by defining terms used ahead for us, but also grounding them in what we know by referencing the 'Cortana moments'. The whole thing is a great storytelling concept, enabling things like a dream state with potentially heightened stakes for a character's introspection. That Damn Sniper 23:50, April 4, 2018 (UTC)
  2. Support Support — As I stated in my vote for this article over at FOTM, this is probably the most original concept I've seen on the site in a while. The layout and image choices fit the concept very well and I appreciate how Distant incorporates elements of his own story into an otherwise broad technological article. I also think this may be the first article I can recall that effectively incorporated gif images into the page structure. Actene: If This Is To End In Fire, Then We'll Burn Together
  3. Support Support — While I've admittedly always been a little disparaging of what is usually referred to as 'Forerunner Space Magic' as a concept, I have to concur with the others that this is a really nicely-written article that blends the informative aspect of a technological article with elements of story prose, which is great! Also, don't think I didn't notice the 'Reality Marble' reference. Glory lies beyond the horizon. Brodie-001: Here to help
  4. Support Support — Going down the list, I think the summary should actually summarise the article, as at the moment it seems more like flavour text then actually introducing you to the article. You may want to change "Plantae-type fauna" to just "flora", as fauna refers specifically to animal life. The second "foreign" in the "Garden Seeds" definition could be changed to "alien" so that way you aren't repeating the word twice. In Technological function's fifth paragraph, "scale - it" should have a comma instead of a dash. In "Bonded Inner Worlds" second sentence, the repetition of that phrase can be removed. Actually, I'd recommend shortening it to 'BIW' every time you feel like repeating that phrase. There's probably more issues grammatically, so I'd advise that a proofread is in order. Nevertheless, this is probably the most unique article I've read in a while - I'm actually shocked that I never read this before. And for that premise and it's engaging writing style, it has my vote. Sev The past, the present, and the future.

Comments

Sylvia Farkas

  • Writer — Sev40, Marv242 & Helljumper Flynn
  • Nominator — Distant Tide
  • Date of Creation — October 25, 2017
  • Date of Nomination — April 14, 2018
  • Description — An UNSC Marine Aviator born from a sudden RP and a crazy gun-nut's imagination...somehow Sev made it into one of the most prolific characters of last year with the guidance and heavy influence of Helljumper Flynn and Marv242. Get Gud, I guess?
  • Why — I should have done this a long time ago. Also, I have a long list of pages that need to be nominated...
  • Status — GA status granted.

Voting

  1. Support Support — While there are a few fix-ups needed in the article, mostly capitalisation and a few run-on sentences, I think that this is definitely worthy of Good Article status. I do appreciate the great detail put into the non-biographical parts of the article - maybe a little much detail in the first paragraph of her appearance section but that's just my opinion - that really serves to flesh her out as a character. Good stuff! Brodie-001: Here to help
  2. Oppose Oppose — Second intro paragraph, "that she's" is present tense and should be replaced with something like "herself". Odd she enjoys Moa hunting "with her parents" when you've just explained she ignores her father and is distanced from her mother; "uncles" maybe? There are actually at least a couple places where "are/were" is inconsistent or "that's" or similar contractions would expand out into present tense, and need revision first; the one in the first paragraph under Battle of Ffyniannus could just have the "that's" cut entirely. "backing" shows up twice in one sentence. "It was this aggression that she started to distinguish herself" is probably missing a "through" early in. "Puzzling" in the Personality section sits somewhat on its own, unrelated to the sentence. Since this is a pilot article, something I picked up watching Spacedock is that quick reflexes won't save a person from a missile; while it's fine in a fiction context, something with the mass of a dropship or even a fighter just isn't going to have the thrust-to-mass ratio to outfly something as small and high-thrust as a missile. An unguided rocket, though, sure. "Although harder to for" in the M6C/SOCOM's description. Well, all in all, I know I just gave a lot of grammatical nitpicks, but those are really about the only complaint category I can raise with the article. Content, images, and formatting are all up to snuff aside from the little too occasional switch in tense. I'd like to see it actually get fixes for these, which is why I'm giving it a Neutral first, but those little things changed and it's got my support. That Damn Sniper 21:39, April 22, 2018 (UTC)
  3. Support Support — Sniper got just about all the grammar errors so I won't pile on; I'm confident they will be fixed in due time so I'll go ahead and support this article. The biography has plenty of details that really add personality to the character—this is the kind of writing I am looking for when I criticize some biographies for just looking like a string of battles. My one nitpick is with the images in the bio: while the pictures in other sections are reasonably sized the ones in the bio are way too small. I say this a lot in GA votes and I suppose it's a matter of personal preference, but in my opinion it makes even reasonably sized paragraphs look too big by comparison. Actene: If This Is To End In Fire, Then We'll Burn Together
  4. Support Support — I think the article is solid enough in its current state in spite of the minor technical flaws present to justify GA status. DemonsofHope »Anonymous ONI agent« [COMMS] [SERVICE RECORD]

Comments

Jaeter

  • Writer — Sev40, Marv242, Michael.Dreams & Distant Tide
  • Nominator — Distant Tide
  • Date of Creation — October 14, 2017
  • Date of Nomination — April 26, 2018
  • Description — Been sitting on this article for some time. Not sure what to do with it since I'm not up to speed with what's Jaeter's current state of affairs in the RP. That said, the world was a strong construction and with assistance from me and Sev we got it up to speed and to reflect the world Marv wanted to build. His ideas for worldbuilding are impressive, got to hand it to him. It's a fully realized world from an entire RP of different writers with exception to the history section since lack of recent updates by me. Ummm...honestly not sure what to say here at this point.
  • Why — I'm not sure if this one deserves an award but I guess for the sake of getting some feedback on it. Let's give it a shot?
  • Status — GA status granted.

Voting

  1. Support Support — "A small-survey corporation," doesn't need the comma after it, and actually you might reconsider the dash therein. Speaking of dashes, need an emdash to replace the other in that same paragraph and a couple other places. In short, I think there's an awkward phrase often enough to be worth a peer read-through, but it's low enough it won't block my support once it gets that. On the concepts side, I'd recommend another name for the Harvest moon when we've got a fairly prominent planet by the same name; I know George Martin names dozens of characters after one another because that's how life is, but here the potential momentary confusion isn't worth taking your reader out. You might add what company sponsored the colonization effort. It's just that you mention a colonization market, and the real profit is what comes from the planet once the investments of building a colonization ship and recruiting thousands of people to leave their homeworld is paid off. There's more than a few mining companies in canon that might fit that bill, looking to establish claims to new sources of minerals and put a ready-made work force in place. Later in, I'd make that list about social aspects into one sentence; full-stop periods for such a list give each item a lot of punch, but it doesn't fit so much in an information article as it does in prose. Second to last sentence of that same paragraph needs a look, as it sort of repeats itself with "are the worst--are considered the worst". I do kinda notice the reuse of that map image, but it's not really a severe issue. Though, one thing I would recommend is, when making a planet which will function as a setting, you may want to give more images of environments within that setting, like city streets that either depict a flourishing, clean metropolis or a filthy alley populated with lurking criminals, or a forest image that gives us an idea of whether it's more alpine or rainforest. The plains mentioned in one of the quotes might be a good place for that. So, mainly it's a proofreads thing for me. Otherwise, the article's got all the content it needs laid out the right way, a great collaboration. My concerns seem like they've been addressed. That Damn Sniper 07:05, April 29, 2018 (UTC)
  2. Neutral Neutral — I'm gonna concur with Sniper here; normally I can easily overlook some grammatical problems and word flow issues if the overall package looks nice, but to me this seems to be too much to ignore. One thing I'd add however is that the title of "Lord Marshal" should be spelled with only one L; "Marshall" spelled with two Ls is a person's name. But yeah, I'd like to see some definite improvement made before I'd feel 100% confident green-lighting this page for GA status. DemonsofHope »Anonymous ONI agent« [COMMS] [SERVICE RECORD]
  3. Support Support — While I think that the points made by my fellow panellists above are very pertinent, I've never agreed with using the neutral template for GA, especially when it comes down to a page that I believe is clearly of great quality but in need of some very easily-made fixes. I suggest re-drawing MS Paint map of Jaeter; I understand that custom maps are hard to come by or draw online but it really looks rather low-quality and out of place compared to the actual sketch of Jaeter that seems like a more believable drawing. Brodie-001: Here to help
  1. Support Support — I'm with Brodie on this one. The fixes are easily made and don't do much to detract from what is not only a quality article but a great example of collaboration. I actually don't mind the hand-made maps; although I'm generally not a fan of this sort of thing it works well on this particular article. "Jaeter" is one of those concepts that I can't help hearing about despite having no part in the RPs surrounding it and when you reach that level of ubiquitousness you're headed in the right direction. I appreciate the effort put into the various elements of the article and while that doesn't completely divert Sniper and Anon's complaints I do think it mitigates them enough to justify a supporting vote here. Actene: If This Is To End In Fire, Then We'll Burn Together

Comments

Vadumverse series/A Burning Desire

  • Writer — Andromeda Vadum and UnggoyZealot
  • Nominator — Andromeda Vadum
  • Date of Creation — April 28, 2018
  • Date of Nomination — May 5, 2018
  • Description — After the events of the Grandpoint bank robbery, Jason Miller picks the trail back up and continues to pursue Kyle Craig. When he finds the formidable criminal, he encounters an unexpected situation that could cost him his life. But he encounters something else to, a clue that could lead to the final capture of Craig. That answer is, the Flame.
  • Why — I feel that this is an interesting story, in my opinion, and it exceeds the byte limit of 10k for short stories. We received feedback from Ahalosniper and corrected most of the constructive criticism. I can't say what changes are still needed but I feel it deserves an award in its current state.
  • Status — Nomination failed.

Voting

  1. Oppose Oppose — Having given it some thought, I'll have to oppose this one. While there are some decent moments, the formatting really messes with the flow of the story and makes it harder to follow; the longer blocks of text near the start and intermingling lines of dialogue with paragraphs of prose are the biggest offender. Also, there's a couple of points near the end where you use 'Kyle' to refer to the protagonist instead of 'Craig'. You should pick either his surname or forename to use as reference in the text when people aren't directly addressing him. All in all, I think this story could really do with another once-over to deal with the formatting and some awkward sentence structures to make it better for GA. Brodie-001: Here to help
  2. Oppose Oppose — This story really needs some cleaning up before it can be considered for GA. Awkward sentences aside, I didn't see much character development outside of the action--which took up most of the story. The set-piece choreography for the fights seemed good but could definitely have been improved if the descriptions were more broken up and interspersed with character interactions. As with a lot of syntax-related problems, I recommend just sitting down and giving the whole story a good read through from start to finish, editing as you go to see what works and what doesn't. Actene: If This Is To End In Fire, Then We'll Burn Together
  3. Oppose Oppose — I've felt kind of awkward about voting on this since I helped with its revision, but because of that I've left it hanging far too long, and giving it enough review to continue forward is the least I owe it by now. There have been improvements made since I first read it, but I feel more are yet necessary before I could call it a Good Article in the story category, since prose is more important than format for stories. Starting with the TimeStamp, in fact, since the specific Hour is given without the Day; if it's just that you only want to set a time of day--actually, heck, that's only 5pm, and it doesn't get really dark until 6 in November according to a quick Google search. The opening reads pretty fast to me; I'd break the first paragraph into two, with the first being the establishing images of the squad cars, where they're going (and possibly expanding it to include the unmarked sedan entering the warehouse and Miller exiting his car to approach the warehouse door we see him at at the third paragraph's start), then the second starts with getting into the head of Jason Miller and what he knew. After the break, you might note it's the heist specifically, not the money, that Craig's pleased with, because it's proof of his ability and, as you subsequently mention, that it will draw in Miller. "studies" should be "studied". I'd definitely use a new paragraph to highlight the importance of Craig's 'ultimatum', and to give it more explanation up front than it's something he had in his pocket. "I would say hired guns" still doesn't sound Sangheili enough to me for the line introducing your Sangheili character here, but beyond that his lines are very much improved over last time. I think a "right" or "left" is needed after "he move hard to his". The last line before the last break that states Miller's motivation is... broad, one could say, to the point of naivete. For a cop who has a shift he gets paid for, has concerns like rent or a house payment, protecting every innocent isn't a believable goal he could accomplish. Now, fearing the harm Craig could bring to all of them, that's another matter, and sets a human motive for him to so devotedly chase Craig in particular. But, in truth, these are just the things I can pick out from the surface. There are a lot of places I would look to expand on in more detail for a clearer picture or to have an effect in pacing, but let me go too far into it and I'd start trying to write it for you. So, by the end, I do have to oppose the story's nomination at this point, but just by what's essentially flipping writing switches to make contexts different to a few things, the story's already improved from when I first read it. So hard as I know it is when critiques are made, don't let them discourage you. Let resentment fuel you to write something that'll show 'em all. Do whatever it takes to keep at it. That Damn Sniper 04:41, June 24, 2018 (UTC)

Gilgameshan honey bee

  • Writer — Echowaffle8
  • Nominator — Echowaffle8
  • Date of Creation — July 31, 2017
  • Date of Nomination — May 27, 2018
  • Description — A stingless bee native to Gilgamesh that, mostly through the power of memes, found success at the Annual Awards and won Fanon of the Month.
  • Why — Mostly because I want to see how good the article stands on its own merit rather than as a meme.
  • Status — Nomination failed.

Voting

  1. Oppose Oppose — Article does not meet the minimum byte requirements needed to be eligible for GA nomination. Sev The past, the present, and the future.
  2. Oppose Oppose — Still doesn't meet byte requirements, nor image requirements for that matter. That Damn Sniper 05:34, June 6, 2018 (UTC)
  3. Oppose Oppose — As per the others. Brodie-001: Here to help
  4. Oppose Oppose — As per the others. In order to bulk the article up to meet requirements, I recommend adding more quotations and perhaps more anecdotal "incident" spots--you can find some good examples of these on some of the animal pages on the Star Wars wiki. Images are understandably tricky so I suggest pictures of a character who had interaction with the honeybee or some generic nature spots of the bee's habitat. Actene: If This Is To End In Fire, Then We'll Burn Together

Comments

Halo: The Final Visit

  • Writer — slowfuture
  • Nominator — slowfuture
  • Date of Creation — June 1st 2018
  • Date of Nomination — June 14th 2018
  • Description — A short story about Amy-G094 saying goodbye to her closest friend at a Gamma run memorial.
  • Why — This story took a little while to write and I'm proud of how it turned out. I've been saying Amy/Hera was the protagonist of my work moving forward for a while now, and this piece finally cements it. It is as much about giving me closure about my past writing endeavours here, as it is about Hera moving forward.
  • Status — GA status granted.

Voting

  1. Support Support — The sentence after '“I’ll contact you when I’m finished,” she paused briefly, “It’s important to me.”' should be it's own paragraph, as it's someone else speaking. I feel like that 'He was the reason for her pilgrimage' should have 'here' added onto the end, to clear up that it's to her journey to Merken. "Desperate to keep" needs an 'it' after the phrase. "Autopilot sequence as they" There isn't anyone else on the ship is there, so shouldn't 'they' be 'she'? "the mirror replicated." I assume that it replicated the action/gesture, but it reads like an incomplete sentence. "Gamma run" should have a dash between it. I don't think "Kody laughed gently." needs to be it's own paragraph, so you can combine that with the one above it. "Hera nodded, “things changed.”" Should be it's own paragraph. "Infinity" should be italicised as it's a ship's name. There are a few words that need to be capitalised as well. Regardless, these are minor issues to the piece, and do not detract from the overall quality of the piece. It has my vote. Sev The past, the present, and the future.
  2. Support Support — A nice send-up piece that integrates nicely with the collaboration potential of the Missing Wall concept. Aside from a handful of stylistic quibbles my only complaint is mostly movement from point A to point B with some expository conversation in the middle. But you can't ask too much of a piece this length and the conversation itself sheds light on the Gamma Spartans as a whole and builds the characters of everyone involved. Definitely deserving of GA status. Actene: If This Is To End In Fire, Then We'll Burn Together
  3. Support Support —As someone who helped proofread this story before it was finalised, I found it to be a really interesting insight into Amy/Hera, a character that I must admit I knew little of beforehand. It's a good-quality piece and I've not really got much to critique that hasn't already been said above. Brodie-001: Here to help
  4. Support Support — Hey, look at that, Sev's started doing individual wording picks too, so maybe I can spend a little time on overall thoughts here. Though I would change "began flickering" to "flickered" to save a word. And having two -ly words back to back in "violently. Instinctively" never sits right with me, so I might suggest "On instinct,". And emdash especially when you're using one, or it looks like a compound word (I'll make the whole site learn to use 'em one day)! I'd remove "their" from before "strafing", just a connector you can cut. "that remained" could be "remaining", or perhaps something like "secured" to give the impression it's locked into place. When she hesitates to grab her battle rifle, you might give some hint as to why she hesitates--whether it's because she probably won't need it but prefers it anyway, or if it's a personal hesitation to take up a weapon which I feel like it kind of reads as now. I might go deeper with the image of three HUD markers popping up, that they seem to just appear, entirely separate of any figure, through the dust and potentially rock walls hiding them, so the markers just float there alone in her visor. When Hera tells Jake who had to etch "their" names in, would it be too on the nose if she was pointing at the names of Team Jian's other deceased? Your choice there, I kinda like it. I agree with Sev on the "Kody laughed gently" line, but I might suggest having him go further and act on the excitement you show he has with his introduction; plant hands on hips proudly, or even go so far as to approach for an embrace, only for her to back off, prompting him to hold back and lead into the hand-on-heart gesture. Double "more" in the "Jake hissed" line. You could also save a dialogue tag if you move Hera's next line back to the end of that paragraph, making Jake's and Hera's bits two separate paragraphs. Double "left" after "Hera bowed her head". Ooh, one thought: you might have one of the other Spartans hand Hera the etching tool or some kind of laser knife on their way out. Maybe plans have changed, but when discussing Hera a long time back, you'd mentioned not considering her a Spartan anymore; you could potentially tie that into the ending of this short, in that she never came back because it was the Spartans' place, and she didn't consider herself one anymore. Well, guess I went into particulars again, but ah well. Most of these aren't so much complaints as suggestions, and I don't have any complaints for the story's structure or context. It makes for a good intro to the character from that point forward, both setting up her past and her dynamic with other Spartans. That Damn Sniper 23:02, July 8, 2018 (UTC)

Comments

Oru 'Vanuxee

  • Writer — UnggoyZealot
  • Nominator — UnggoyZealot
  • Date of Creation — February 17, 2018
  • Date of Nomination — June 21, 2018
  • Description — Once a noble Fleet Master, Oru 'Vanuxee fell from grace during the Great Schism, and has resorted to the life of a mercenary to get by.
  • Why — I've finally finished the bulk of this article, although I still do have to touch up on the Relations section. Nonetheless, I've worked hard on this article lately, and I hope to see Oru 'Vanuxee succeed and get GA status, to be put up there alongside my previous nomination. Like I said last time, feedback away!
  • Status — Nomination failed.

Voting

  1. Support Support — First sentence of the 'Early Life' section, I'd suggest a comma after 'Herald of Fire' and no capitalisation of 'the' earlier on; you don't need to do that after commas. I've also noticed a tendency for really short, somewhat choppy sentences in the article that come across as simply stating facts about Oru instead of telling us the story of his life, so I'd suggest going through and either combining or expanding on these sentences. There's an occasional factual error, like how the Covenant and UNSC found Halo after a month instead of eighteen days after the Fall of Reach, and the odd misspelled word, but I don't think that it detracts from the overall quality of Oru's article. It's definitely GA quality, but could definitely use a bit of refining to make it even better. Brodie-001: Here to help
  2. Oppose Oppose — Overall on the whole I can't deny that this is a well-constructed article, but there are too many small, irksome canonical errors and details that seem to defy logic present at the moment for me to feel comfortable voting in favor of granting this page GA status. The first issue that jumps out at me is an apparent misunderstanding of the Sangheili rank system. The article states that he at certain points in time holds the 'ranks' of Shipmaster and Fleetmaster, which is strange considering those aren't ranks. Those are titles, typically given to Sangheili Generals or Zealots, or in the case of the Shipmaster title, occasionally Ultras, if it's a smaller vessel. So apparently after 2507 he remained a Major but became a Shipmaster and later on a Fleetmaster anyways. And on that note, the article doesn't explain very well what it is he did to earn those "promotions". Generally, a Sangheili must perform some feat of incredible martial prowess in order to earn a promotion, but I see no mention of anything like that. Another thing that grabbed my attention immediately as soon as I began reading, although it's a minor gripe, is the Oracle Code. It doesn't seem exclusive to this article, but it bothered me enough to want to address it here. The concept of the Covenant having a system to identify and keep track of their soldiers is fine, especially for Sangheili, but the idea that it would be in any way easily translatable into human numerical or lettering systems is absurd, and likely wouldn't be intelligible to us in any sort of familiar fashion without extensive and complex decoding, let alone the idea that it would read out anywhere near close to something like a modern military ID serial. This isn't honestly a big enough deal that I'd expect it to be changed before I'd vote in favor of granting the page GA, but I still wanted to address it. Finally, I'm going to disagree with Brodie here and say that the grammatical issues present do warrant putting a hold on GA status at the moment. I'm normally quite forgiving about this, but there is a point at which it stops being just a mistake every now and again and starts being an endemic problem throughout the article, and I'd say that this page is past that point. Again, I think the page is well-constructed and certainly has the parts in place to be GA worthy in the future, but it's not there yet. DemonsofHope »Anonymous ONI agent« [COMMS] [SERVICE RECORD]
  3. Oppose Oppose — There are a number of issues to address, most notably some of the suism present in the early segments of the article. This is first seen in his early life section where everything under the sun is mentioned to be praised; he's the greatest fighter, the smartest, the best problem-solver and the most popular. This isn't impossible given the high standing of his clan, but I'd at least mention something he wasn't good at. This also extends to its skills - the lack of mentioning any weaknesses adds to this impression he's gone none at all. Why does the tutor immediately send him on a suicide mission, rather than try and favour his nephew to force Oru to be unseated as the undisputed best? I don't doubt this is what happened, but it should be mentioned so it doesn't come off so murder-ish. I don't particularly like the bit where he immediately gets to be second-in-command of his lance when surely there'd be someone who would be better suited to it - especially since you mention it was due to 'combat experience' at his keep that was never mentioned. I'm pretty sure no troops would be 'in awe' of him - they might think those stories of his youth impressive, but ultimately he has to prove whenever he's worthy of his clan's reputation (especially since his uncle is the fleetmaster, which would make his comrades consider the possibility that he only joined their unit to get promoted quickly due to familial interests). The Heretic Infiltrator is frankly a bit unbelievable - rather than going for the battlecruiser's CIC and vent the atmosphere across all decks there, he stumbles on Oru's dorm and gets shot? That screams of a setup by his family, which could happen to try and reward him early distinction. Why does he get the shipmaster title for basically sitting back from the main attack and only cleaning up the remnants? Especially since the main assault is conducted by a legion from a dishonourable CPV-class destroyer and contradicts his headstrong tendencies, shouldn't Oru try to beat them to the punch, like disobey orders and take a drop pod onto the battlefield? Or if you want his high-birth to matter, try to blackmail the shipmaster into conducting the main assault or risk attracting punishment from the Vanux clan? You've also mentioned him being the "prized shipmaster" of the fleet, but what exactly did he do to earn such high praise, besides disciplining his crew (which seems like a necessity to me, rather than something to be commended) and destroying a few ships? More needs to be done here. Also, I've just realised - why was Oru never given an actual ship? The CRS-class has been said to be classified as an attack ship, grouping it in with banshees and seraphs. If anything, he should be given an SDV-class corvette or CAR-class frigate, let alone a CCS-class which you'd think would be a prerequisite for higher command. It's also weird that a shipmaster who has seen very little actual combat would be up for the fleetmaster position. The last few paragraphs in "Fleetmaster Career", as well as the Alluvion segments, really need to have their own sections, since they seem to be talking about their respective battles. It's kind of awkward to read about his general career and then be thrust into two independent battles. There is also something weird with ranks going on - if Thel was never a Supreme Commander at Alluvion, why did Oru take orders from him? I'd make a specific mention that Oru was a rank or two below him, making him Thel's subordinate There's also some weird shoehorning with his predecessor N'hraga 'Vanuxee being a competitor with Xytan, and only lost because the state of 'Vanux would undergo unrest. This all falls apart when it's scrutinised - why would the clan of Vanux be at risk of revolt, as wouldn't it be good for them to have one of their own be an Imperial Commander? It doesn't make sense, and I'd recommend removing it completely. The rest of the biography seems alright, although I'd like some clarification about why Oru chose to be a mercenary instead of making his own Covenant remnant? He held the supreme command rank/title and obviously did have the respect to efficiently command his forces, and he doesn't seem to particularly like Skivich, so why didn't he do it? I also fail to see how the Minister of Fervent Intercession betrayed Oru - it doesn't seem to warrant that quote under his section in 'Relationships.' I'd add how he thought Intercession betrayed him specifically, or get rid of it. There are a lot of minor issues, like some portions in Personality that should be in the "Skills" section (the strategy stuff, specifically) and all the grammar issues, which I recommend you download Grammarly to sort out. If you can get all these issues sorted out, I'd be happy to support it, but it doesn't seem to be quite ready for GA status yet. Sev The past, the present, and the future.
  4. Oppose Oppose — Boy, there's some long reviews already. I'll keep it short, so as not to overwhelm, and since most of my qualms would repeat at this point. It's funny, my take on this article is a reverse of the last one, in that here your article's well written and formatted, and most of what I take issue with is concepts. I will differ from Sev in one respect, though; in Early Life, I think it's actually fine to have a character who excels, being a gifted fighter and intelligent and popular, but a character like that needs challenges that equal them, highlight their flaws and help us better understand them going forward. Perhaps he should realize he's strong, but there will always be stronger out there--the story with the Helioskrill would be good for this by taking out the random hunter and having Oru use his wits to trap it or lure it to a bigger predator he can take the head from after. Or, perhaps replace that story with his success making him arrogant, and he spits on some peasant who asks him for help, which earns him sharp reprimand from those expecting him to be the next great kaidon, which drives him to be a just leader. For this or any part of the backstory leading up to where you want him to be, there should be something added to the character, some lesson or way they try to live, or there's not much point in expanding on it rather than getting to the point you want to have the character be at. I feel it's important to say this comes a lot closer to the mark for a successful GA nomination, so keep honing your article and it should be back for another go soon. That Damn Sniper 06:51, July 21, 2018 (UTC)

Comments

Andra-D054

  • Writer — Distant Tide
  • Nominator — Distant Tide
  • Date of Creation — May 25, 2017
  • Date of Nomination — September 12, 2018
  • Description — SPARTAN-III Delta Company's second-most-prominent Spartan. Spartan sharpshooter, budding explosives technician. Disciple of Joshua-G024. Best friend of Merlin-D032. Domestic abuse survivor. Likes anime.
  • Why — Two months. Close to three now. Good Article submissions have been less prominent recently, probably due to summer vacation and school for many. Andra-D054 has kindly kept to the shadows compared to Merlin-D032 since both their inceptions around May of last year. While Andra's biography has gone through enough backlogging that it's not in a place of great implementation, it's on its way there. That said, I think being at around 40k words is a decent start to apply for Good Article status. Also, the post above this one probably needs an update of its status section.
  • Status — GA status granted

Voting

  1. Support Support — "Conspiring"'s only function in that first paragraph is just calling ONI sinister, which is a subjective assessment (no matter how right), and so could probably be cut. There's... a lot of confusion in the second paragraph; that her Spartan conscription saved her in '52, but she was orphaned in '53, and her "late" father implies he's already dead at the time of becoming abusive. The short dash could also be taken out of "emotionally-crushed" and "partial-mute". "Immediately" is misspelled. Curious you have the link to just Earth encompass more of the sentence than the word itself present. "Only" is repeated in the second to last sentence of the third intro paragraph; so, to refrain from too much play-by-play, there's a lot of grammatical hiccups I'd suggest a proofreading or peer revision of the article for, but I grant it's in an interesting framework. A lot of neat coding is stacked up, collaborations with other users both through Delta and directly with slowfuture's Josh, and the biography itself hasn't been prioritized, instead favoring the relationship and personality details about the character in a snapshot. I can only think how much or how little prose work I'd have done if I kept my character articles strictly to that snapshot format and depended on myself writing prose to get the stories of those characters across. The grammatical stuff is enough to hold back my vote for the moment what with things like the date conflicts, but all it'd take is one good revision to swing that change, I think. My concerns seem to have been addressed. The one thing I don't really get is the use of a BigQuote to reiterate the last line of a section, but I get it's stylistic. That Damn Sniper 06:04, September 13, 2018 (UTC)
  2. Support Support — This is a tough call for me. From a design standpoint the article looks superb--Distant has a way with article format and layout that I envy. One formatting issue I did encounter was the smaller font, while contributing to the overall look of the article, made it somewhat difficult to read without zooming in on the web page. The page has undergone a lot of revision since Sniper's observations, but I still came up with a few awkward sentences that could use some revising. The text gets a bit overly descriptive here and there, and while I admire the great details that go into the relationships and personal descriptions section I think the text might benefit from some condensing here or there. But the real clincher for my vote here is the biography—in my opinion, the most important part of a character article. I was a bit surprised that the article doesn't even reach into Andra's training. There's room for flexibility here, especially with the amount of story details that go into the other sections; I was actually hoping the childhood description might flow into all the character and relationship details and then resume an operational narrative after establishing Andra's character. But as it stands now the bio section makes the article very incomplete, hence my (reluctant) opposition. As per Sniper, my critiques have been addressed. Actene: If This Is To End In Fire, Then We'll Burn Together
  3. Support Support — As per the comments from the others, this is a well-written, well-formatted page. I particularly like the inclusion of her as a Warzone boss - a really great concept that I don't think I've ever seen on the site before - though I must agree with Actene's point about her biography being fairly lacklustre at the moment compared to sections that in most articles are secondary to a character's life story. Actene does make a very good point about the page feeling incomplete without a detailed biography to fill it out, though I personally feel that there's enough detail elsewhere to warrant it getting the award. Brodie-001: Here to help

Comments

Blake Karmyn

  • Writer — LowBudgetKnight
  • Nominator — Distant Tide
  • Date of Creation — May 03, 2018
  • Date of Nomination — September 12, 2018
  • Description — The full-frontal tale of a young boy transforming into a Marine, into an ODST sharpshooter, into a SPARTAN-IV. German. Tough as nails. Wicked scar. Looks angry.
  • Why — LBK is another one of those users that has quickly integrated themselves into the Halo Fanon family, consistently on the site and improving on his craft. Blake Karmyn is easily turning into a fine SPARTAN-IV with his own identity and would make a strong contender for this year's Best Spartan Annual Award. Nothing but praise for the in-depth look at this character. That said, there are a few minor formatting issues and possibly spelling errors that could be looked into. A stray apostrophe or extra space here or there. No big deal. He already won a FOTM, why not give him a shot at GA too?
  • Status — Nomination withdrawn.

Voting

  1. Support Support — There are a couple things out of place, true; one after Gronau in the infobox, spaces between some words and dates in the same, and an s missing from one of the quote tags, for example. Enough to recommend the same peer read-through I recommend to just about anyone, but it's not enough to withhold my vote here for the amount of content there is. The first few sentences under Early Life have a present tense where the rest of the article appears to be past tense should be seen to. The quotes at the end of sections look a little awkward, maybe. But, since I don't generally show up on the Discord, I've not been too familiar with LowBudgetKnight or his work, yet this makes for a good first impression. Plenty of content, laid out well enough (though not including one larger Biography header is a questionable choice and the headers do go quite a few levels down), and a lot of media incorporated. My only other layout complaint would be the images used in the main body are awfully small, but depending on the device you use to view the site, your mileage may vary on that one (300px is the usual I go for, anyone else have a preference?). That Damn Sniper 22:15, September 23, 2018 (UTC)
  2. Oppose Oppose —Maybe I'm just being incredibly nitpicky, but is it worth displaying three pictures of a character's face over the course of only eight years, especially when the only major changes seem to be a haircut and a scar? I'd suggest breaking up the opening block of text on the page into two paragraphs at least, and there are a few minor details like run-on sentences (tip: use no more than two commas per-sentence) and words like 'Marine' that need capitalisation that should also be addressed. I'd also be wary of repetition; for instance, '103rd Drop Jet Platoon' is used several times in some paragraphs where 'the 103rd' or even 'the platoon' might have sufficed. I'd just suggest giving the page a once-over to look for any potential errors, since they tend to become apparent once pointed out. I agree with Sniper's comment on picture sizes too; I've been edging towards the 280-300px mark myself in pages nowadays to make images stand out more. That said, you've done an excellent job in developing Blake as a character, and I applaud the hard work you've put into this page, which I think qualifies for the award. Changing vote to oppose as per the writer's suggestion that this be denied. Brodie-001: Here to help
  1. Oppose Oppose — Even though the article does not meet the GA's minimum size at the time of writing, I will still offer some criticisms on the article. There are a number of annoying grammar issues present - for example, a missing space between the service number and callsign brackets, misused comma in the opening quote instead of a semicolon, repeating the name of the city right after mentioning it in the last paragraph of 'Biography', and missing/misused capitalisation. The tense used tends to vary a tad - when writing the character, I would recommend writing it as if it happened in the past; for example, use 'promised' instead of 'promising'. Another thing to mention is that Germany has reformed itself into the United German Republic, so that map of Germany you have may no longer be accurate. As for content... I don't believe there's enough here to really qualify, as it only has a single battle and his early life. Regardless of how big the page was before, I can only judge based on the state of the article now. Sev The past, the present, and the future.
  1. Oppose Oppose — As per the others. My first read of the article was done some time ago and a lot has changed since then, but there are still too many issues to warrant a supporting vote. I do enjoy the little details throughout the biography and personality sections that give us a picture of Blake as a person rather than a killing machine and there is an effort to tell a personal story rather than just list military operations. But more proofreading is definitely required to hammer out the dents here. Most of the issues have been addressed, though I will add that vehicles like "Warthog" or "Scorpion" should be capitalized throughout the text. I also can't stress enough (I keep bringing this up in GA votes) that pictures need to be enlarged in these articles. While it can sometimes be tricky to get the right size, the minimal thumbnail really doesn't work when it's making it hard to even tell what the picture is. I'll be keeping an eye on this one to see how it shapes up in the future. Actene: If This Is To End In Fire, Then We'll Burn Together

Comments

Replying to Sniper's comment. 250px and 280px seem to be fairly common numbers used for infobox images. Distant Tide: Hunter - Killer

So I've been thinking and I think it would be best if this GA nomination was denied until I can get a lot more information in, because I do have to agree with Sev that there isn't enough information for anyone to vote on since I decided to re-do it, maybe at a later date when I have more information I can be re-nominated for GA status.LowBudgetKnight (talk) 16:10, October 15, 2018 (UTC)


SmartLinkScope
Ahalosniper — That Damn Sniper, sniping — Forged in secret, tempered in fire; Cheeky Demon, God Defier
TALK CONTRIBUTIONS — Sunday, November 17 2019 (Pacific Standard Time)
Authors have the right to request the removal of their article's nomination if desired—though funnily enough we have it spelled out in the AA rules and not GA's so clearly, may have to see to that. But in regards to the case at hand, are you sure you'd like to withdraw it for the time being? It seems not far off from passing that threshold as it is.



Replying to Sniper's comment. Yes, I am sure. I would rather have the same or possibly more content for you guys to read before you guys vote for Blake to see if he deserves GA status. As of right now, I'm only in the beginning of his ODST days and would rather wait until I can get to the Spartan-IV era of his life, granted I'm sure it's going to be annoying to read the same article twice, even with different changes made, and I apologize for that but this was a re-write I felt needed to be done in my own opinion. So again, yes I would like to have my GA nomination declined, but with the amount of time and work I've been putting into it lately, I'm sure I'll be caught up at the end of the month. LowBudgetKnight (talk) 09:58, October 16, 2018 (UTC)

SPARTAN-II Program, Class II

  • Writer — S-D379
  • Nominator — S-D379
  • Date of Creation — May 10, 2017
  • Date of Nomination — October 27, 2018
  • Description — A canon expansion of the Class II SPARTAN-IIs which hasn't been explored at all in mainstream canon that branches out to connect with various EUs.
  • Why — When I started this page, I tried to do exactly what the Gamma and Delta Company pages tried to; make a collective canon expansion page for various characters by users on the site and unify them for crossovers and shared universes. And I feel like I've been at least partly successful on that regard, seeing as how Class II has characters from a variety of users and also gets requests for more. I feel like I've done well enough, but it's up to to you judges to verify my statement as true or false.
  • Status — GA Status granted

Voting

  1. Support Support — In the quote, considering it's from before the program's activated, probably should read "will be", as on first read "would" sounded more like past tense than a hypothetical. Should probably cut "success" from "high success-failure ratio" since, if anything, the phrasing there makes it sound like high successes to failures. Missing a closing comma on that aside in the first sentence under History. Anyway, I usually do find some minor grammatical nitpicks, but suffice to say they aren't present in quantity here enough to detract from my reading the article. Proofread, the usual. The opening of the History section does concern me, however, mentioning the Insurrection and the UNSC without defining the latter at all and setting the former up only as a rebellion. Of course, the details to those aren't what the article's about, but since these are important to the background of why the Spartan-II program exists, I'd at least state the UEG was an Earth-based (or centric, depending what perspective on the UNSC you want to set up) government and the Insurrection were mostly colonies in rebellion and why, and the sentence after is a good chance to reference the Carver Findings. There's no specific way I'd expect you to go about this, I only mention it as the lack of setup makes it read a bit like the audience is expected to know all about it—which, after being here so long, many of us do, but makes it more inaccessible to someone coming in fresh. Of course, with so much background to cover, it's hard to blame keeping it short. The S-II program is tied into virtually every part of the Halo universe, so it's going to have more ground to cover than the S-III expansion articles that've come before. Once it begins with Class-II itself, however, the article seems to hit its stride in having new material to invent. There are neat ideas tying into canon here, such as explaining canon S-II Class-II's high numbers as a means of confounding Insurrectionist intelligence efforts after the Raid on Camp New Hope. All in all, I think the writer's had pretty good practice with articles like this by now, and it shows enough to earn my support. That Damn Sniper 22:38, October 27, 2018 (UTC)
  2. Support Support — There are a number of sentences that have issues with either flow or being too long, the former because of the unnecessary placements of joining words and commas which are pretty easily seen in the second summary paragraph. As what Brodie harps on about, keep sentences to a maximum of two commas per sentence. There are a couple of places where the ownership 's aren't part of the link, which while not glaring errors, I do think should be quickly fixed. There are also some places where the same word is used twice in a given sentence, like 'due' in the second paragraph of 'Recruitment', as well as some redundant information explained right after the sentence that told us about it in isolated cases. I'd also refrain from using 'etc' in articles, as it gives off the impression that the sentence is incomplete and the author can't think of any more examples for that segment - if you need to, I'd put something similar to 'such as' or 'including but not limited to:'. While none of these grammar issues take away from the article, I do think that there are enough issues that another thorough proofreading is required. It is strange that you mention how Halsey limited their potential, but the training seems to be fairly standard to Halsey's regime - despite you saying that it's competitive, it seems more closely like the teams were expected to work together. Not sure if you wanted to replicate the familial bond the Class Is have, so I'd make it more obvious. You also mention it's harder and the trainers more brutal, but the only evidence of how hard it is towards the end of the training segment. I'd probably seed a few more examples of it towards the beginning of the training to show that at first they were at risk of dropping out; maybe enough that the organisers had to consider whenever to make it slightly easier on them. I'm also curious about Ackerson's involvement - at this time he already has Alpha Company in the field and Beta Company being trained, so why does he need the similar Class IIs who don't yet have field experience? There are a couple of other things I'm wary about - shields being integrated from Insurrectionists when the UNSC already has some of their own examples (not to mention that Covenant technology isn't really plug-and-play), the reuse of so many locations used by the Class Is, and the albatross jump which doesn't really seem to fit with a unit full of kidnapped kids who didn't exactly volunteer. The only other canon issue I need to mention is that only flash cloning is dangerous as well; cloning an individual at the natural rate is safe despite it being illegal. Regardless, I can't deny it is well-written and descriptive, and that is the crucial part of these articles isn't it? Opening it up to the rest of the community is something I always encourage as well. Sev The past, the present, and the future.
  3. Support Support — Haven't got a great deal to say here that Sniper and Sev haven't already pointed out, though there are a couple of points where you tend to add a little more detail than is necessary, such as listing all the types of weaponry available to the trainees during one exercise and listing an exact date and time of their drop. It's an issue I've run into myself where an article detailing the history of a unit comes perilously close to prose writing when I'm giving the blow-by-blow of each event. Be concise, but informative. Nonetheless, I think that this is a good canon expansion of an area that's seen almost no exploration in-universe and is of sufficient quality for the GA award. With a little more development to fill out the biography section, this would even be a good AA contender this year (hint, hint). Brodie-001: Here to help
  4. Support Support — I support this with the caveat that while the article itself is well-executed and put together I'm not fond of S-II Class-II as a concept (it's had more than a few incarnations on this site over the years) and found myself a bit bored while reading it. I can chalk that mostly up to my own tastes, but aside from some neat sentences about individual trainees and bits highlighting the military process in commissioning the separate program, it really does feel like a rehash of the original S-II program—even hitting on a lot of the same beats. I get the necessity for some of the similarity, but that is what the article feels like—a necessity. It's needed to establish the Class II concept for the characters involved in it, but not necessarily to stand as its own article. Nevertheless, my quibbles about the nature of the article don't take away from the good execution so I won't let personal interpretation stand in the way of a supporting vote. Actene: If This Is To End In Fire, Then We'll Burn Together

Comments

Sig Logo
S-D379 - "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.":
TALK - 03:28, November 21, 2018 (UTC). Today is Sunday, November 17, 2019
Time for confessions. Although I definitely agree with the points that it seems a lot similar to Class I, that was one of my initial reasons. With the S-III program underway, there wasn't a real reason for ONI to do another supersoldier program unless it achieved the high-efficiency rate that Halsey's Class I had. I wanted to make it seem like this was how it would be if ONI could actually have control over the S-II program and make changes as they desired, unlike Halsey's fixed regimen. I apologize for the parts where it is too informative, as my frequent absences lost me my consistency. I'll also remove the albatross jump when I can and possibly replace it since now that you mention it it does feel like an unlikely choice for Class II. All in all, I'm grateful for the feedback I've received. Hopefully, I'll be able to improve a lot with my upcoming projects.


Incursion on Didact's Keep

  • Writer — UnggoyZealot
  • Nominator — UnggoyZealot
  • Date of Creation — December 22, 2018
  • Date of Nomination — January 14, 2018
  • Description — A take on a Warzone map with descriptions and strategies on how to dominate your opponents and take the win.
  • Why — Even though this article hasn't even been around for a month, I feel I've done a fairly good job on it in detail, and the fact that it's a unique concept. I've received quite a bit of feedback already, so I hope that this unique article is good enough for GA status!
  • Status — GA status granted.

Voting

  1. Support Support — I feel like this was a tougher call than it should've been. That may be partly due to the fact that I'm probably not fully awake yet, but it can also easily be attributed to the fact that the this is an incredibly unusual article; this is probably the first page on a fictitious map to game that actually exists that I've ever seen on the site. And beyond the fact that personally that idea is completely objectionable in regards to my own sensibilities when it comes to writing fanon, it also means that I have little to judge it against. I was eager to discredit the page based on its unconventional format, I was begrudgingly forced to concede to myself that a more traditional page structure as would be seen on a character, event, or technology article wouldn't really work here (or, at least, not especially well). With that in mind, it is hard to deny that there is a lot of neat details and tidbits in this article, and it's clear that a lot of effort and love has gone into creating it. If I were to point out one issue, however, it's that there is not a whole lot here in terms of describing in detail the layout of the map, as it instead focuses much more on how the map plays. In the same vein, the page would also benefit greatly from an image or two showing a top-down look at the map's layout, including spawn points and other details of note. But even as it currently stands, I believe the article is worthy of GA. DemonsofHope »Anonymous ONI agent« [COMMS] [SERVICE RECORD]
  2. Support Support — Hard to evaluate might just be the phrase for it. As per AOA, though we've seen several game articles out there, this is the first article to go into such detail about one specific element of a game. Interesting to note, however, that while it's mentioned in the infobox as a Halo 5 map, the intro places it in an in-universe context as a program for War Games on Infinity, taking pretty good advantage of 343i's method of matching story and gameplay. But it does meet length, image, and template requirements, and it takes a good cue from Halopedia's individual map articles for format. Happily, there's an abundance of written content even where templates dominate the page, and conventions seem solid throughout. I think it's a fine candidate, and has my support. All I can do is make suggestions for future additions; why not link to Varmint's Nail on the Halo Fanon:Mythic Requisitions page where it's mentioned, and if possible, getting images with multiple members of one team as are frequently seen on Halopedia's map pages might help drive home the association of this map with team games. Fine work! That Damn Sniper 21:57, January 14, 2019 (UTC)
  3. Support Support — The first thing I immediately noticed was that despite how you've already figured out how many minions the bosses have, the minion fields in the table are lacking in information. In the case of the Elite Overseer, they don't make mention of the Grunt Imperials he spawns with, nor do they mention how many of each minion spawn with them (although I do recognise this is a fault with Halopedia). The Sky Ranger also does not use the correct armour set, which threw me for a loop until I realised it was using a placeholder image. Curious that you decided to use a regular Imperial Goblin as a legendary boss, which have traditionally been named individuals (Skymaster 'Wamik, Commander Lochagos, etc) - it may be a good opportunity to name-drop another one of your characters like Dipdip. Moving on, you've described the map very well, and describing the tactics that you need to succeed is a very different way to take an article. It's very refreshing. That said, I think a visual representation of the map even in a basic paint format would go a long way to further connect your strategies to the reader, as they would be able to visually recognise how and where to pull them off. There is one concern I have, though - the lack of alternate entries in the Grand Hall. If you look at every other stronghold in Warzone, there is a main entrance and one or two other places to flank so the defenders can't camp and kill everything that moves. I get that you want to show it as being an impenetrable fortress, but if this map was ever made, I can't help but feel like it would be notoriously difficult for the invaders - especially since its got a garage too so the defenders can keep spawning vehicles. Might want to add a few places to allow the invaders to outflank the defenders. That said, all of the issues I have brought up are fairly minor, with the writing talent being at a high standard besides some oddities here and there and the entire concept, as stated above, being new and interesting. It has my vote Sev The past, the present, and the future.
  4. Oppose Oppose — I'm going to throw in a lone dissent on this one based on the presentation of the content. While the article itself is perfectly competent, it feels a bit too self-aware for an article that's ostensibly describing a video game level. Rather than presenting a blanket overview of the map and its content, the entire article reads like a walkthrough commentary (team strategies, detailed enemy behavior, etc.) that completely takes the reader out of the idea that this is an actual map. The strategies certainly add flavor to the article and would be fine as a subsection further down, but the fact that they exist in place of an impartial overview makes the whole article feel like someone pitching a cool idea rather than a presentation of an actual map. Actene: If This Is To End In Fire, Then We'll Burn Together
  5. Support Support — While I do agree with Actene's point above that the page reads more like a walkthrough than something you might see on say, Halopedia, I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing unless you were intending for the article to have a more professional tone. We don't see enough articles like this nowadays if you ask me, so this one definitely has my vote for its quality. (Glad to see those pictures I got for you are being put to good use, too). Brodie-001: Here to help

Comments

Transcendent Passage

  • Writer — DirgeOfCerberus111, Distant Tide, and Sev40
  • Nominator — Ahalosniper
  • Date of Creation — March 22nd, 2018
  • Date of Nomination — February 15th, 2019
  • Description — A derelict Covenant warship converted into a luxury cruiseliner operated by criminal interests.
  • Why — A unique concept with an execution that meets length, image and grammatical guidelines, and offers itself up to other users as a setting to base stories in.
  • Status — GA status granted.

Voting

  1. Support Support — As per nomination. Though, I have to say, there's more here on its weapons than some traditional military ship articles when I'm hoping to get to its attractions faster. More images of its inside would be nice, maybe some cyberpunk art to represent the venues and casinos that bring in the cash flow to feed its little defense armada. That Damn Sniper 00:18, February 16, 2019 (UTC)
  2. Support Support — Personally I'm more one for those more standard military ship articles, but this is certainly a neat little article with some interesting ideas that are well implemented. I don't really have much to criticize here; it's a yes from me. DemonsofHope »Anonymous ONI agent« [COMMS] [SERVICE RECORD]
  3. Support Support — I really love this page's concept; most ship articles tend to be either military warships or personal transports, so having one act as more of a living habitat is a great idea that isn't seen often on the site. This article's quality and commitment to detail definitely makes it deserve the GA badge of honour (if the Annual Award wasn't a sign of that already). Brodie-001: Here to help
  4. Support Support — I've actually been reviewing the page more than a few times recently since it's featured in the story I'm working on. Although it can be hard figuring out which ideas came from the various owners, as a whole it's a great concept and a good article. Actene: If This Is To End In Fire, Then We'll Burn Together

Comments

Samuel-B256 (TPF)

  • Writer — ThePeteFiles
  • Nominator — ThePeteFiles
  • Date of Creation — January 16, 2019
  • Date of Nomination — March 30, 2019
  • Description — A story of a orphan that grew up on a rural farm turning to into a Beta Company Headhunter and navigating through conflicts with the few people he can trust.
  • Why — While most of Beta Company focuses on CAT-2 and the Lucky 9s, I feel a Headhunter is a different change of pace on mission tempo, character lore and development of a introverted child to a highly lethal Spartan. It's the one article I spend the most time on and trying to improve it to be my go-to character when writing a story. I feel a GA nomination would allow me to say this is my greatest accomplish on the site and the work put into the character has paid off.
  • Status — Nomination failed.

Voting

  1. Oppose Oppose — "Appreciate" in the quote. First sentence of the second intro paragraph, might use commas for a list instead of multiple "and"s. "apart" should be "a part". A big concern I'm finding is the conflict of past and present tense at different points in the article, using past up until the Human-Covenant War era and present thereafter; these might be fine for Personality and Relationships sections, but the bio should really only use past tense. Sentences like "ONI has taken note of the Freedom and Liberation Party's growth over the past months" end up leading readers to ask "past relative to when?" Past tense would have it read something like "ONI had taken note of the Freedom and Liberation Party's growth over the months leading up to 2546." Another tip, only hit enter once after Quote templates, since it makes a wider gap than normal when double-spaced. Farming, especially in the future, you might find he'd be much more familiar with technology than average; since it's only the few members of a family in one isolated house, his parents would probably have needed him to help out when they had to repair a JOTUN or other machinery needed to tend all the land they owned. You might expand on why his parents didn't try to join a UNSC evacuation effort when the Covenant arrived, as the UNSC probably would've had contingencies in place for this by 2537; could be they were die-hard determined to stay, or they knew they were cut off already--in either case, perhaps that shelter in their shed was something they'd pre-made. Might edit the "Not knowing English, the ODSTs" line, since I first took it to mean the ODSTs didn't know English. Second paragraph under Conscription, might strike the first "one another" in the second-to-last sentence. "to an extent that it would" could cut "it"; don't know that instructors would give up on finding their trainee, though maybe they resort to cheating with thermal scanners. Missing a t in "vegeation". Getting a little long here, so I'll say a full read-through by another writer would probably catch any and all grammatical or spelling snags, which are enough to hold me back for the moment, but that would easily be changed. The explanation for the Spectre team name is a little silly, as one a child would probably think of the word 'ghost' sooner and using a childhood fear to name the team seems a little obscure; their ONI handlers could reasonably give them the same name. "Due to... being a freak of nature" is a bit of an odd inclusion; in context, it might be better to say Sam considers himself a freak as a reason he hasn't pursued romantic relationships. By the end, I haven't found any problems in the concepts worked with, but the tense change is going to take a bit of rewriting, after which I'd be able to change my vote to give it full support. That Damn Sniper 00:20, April 1, 2019 (UTC)
  2. Oppose Oppose — Sniper seems to have caught a lot of the article's problems; I'd say that the tense issue is the most glaring one by far. There is one part where Prowler Corps is incorrectly labelled 'Prowlers Corp' though. Easily-correctable things aside, I think that the page is pretty solid and I'm only casting an 'oppose' vote since we don't do neutrals. Give the page a careful sweep and follow the advice given and it'll definitely be GA quality. Brodie-001: Here to help
  3. Oppose Oppose — This page makes me sad, because I know that the author put a lot of time and effort into it. The first thing I absolutely need to mention is that the author needs to add the context for each missions. I've seen the idea of putting the reader into the perspective of the character before, but I feel utterly alienated when I try to understand what's going on beyond what you're telling us because of both this and poor wording. For instance, Harmony; did the colony rebel and kill off the entire UNSC garrison there? Otherwise, why did two Headhunters get sent in - what could they achieve that regular Marine/Army marksmen can't? In the 'Teash' section, why couldn't Stephen stay on the ship, and had to come down with the Spartans? Stuff like needs to be stated so the reader knows why they're there and what are they hoping to achieve by the end of it, and same thing if the objectives change mid-mission. Later on, you said that Specter were given orders from Osman herself to steal Forerunner articles before they can send teams out. First of all, why? Osman herself gave orders to Lasky, so she at least trusted them enough to eliminate such a esteemed figure as Halsey. Next, what benefit is there to steal it from the Infinity? It has fully-stocked science facilities, an AI to assist their research, and hundreds of scientists that they can use to directly research it from there. ONI is going to get the same research data that the Infinity does - on a (at the time) far more secured site as well than what a prowler could provide. This entire section is ridiculous, I just can't take it seriously because I can't understand the logic associated with this besides ONI is stupid. Regarding Sarcophagus, but after the Guardians began waking up the shield world locked itself off from the rest of the galaxy by thrusting itself into slipspace, so Specter can't be there. Some minor nitpicks with wording, but if you're going to use abbreviations, always have the fully spelled out meaning so people aren't confused. Example: "HVT" = "High Value Target (HVT)." The only exception should be with stuff used on every other article, like DMR, SMG, and MAC. "SPARTAN-III Ferret Teams", "Relation with Spartan Operations", and "Relation with Spartan Operations" need to be pulled out of the biography and pushed into some other main section, because they don't fit in with the other sections. They also cause some confusion with other sections; I had no idea why Specter was suddenly referred to as Ferret Team Specter when it was first mentioned half-way through the article. On another note, it was... Odd, how you described that Samuel always wanted to have an AI in his head. So he's not satisfied just working with one, so why is that? Everything else seems fine, but those serious issues in the biography need to be fixed. Sev The past, the present, and the future.

Comments

Joseph Kovacs

  • Writer — Spartan-D042
  • Nominator — Spartan-D042
  • Date of Creation — March 15, 2018
  • Date of Nomination — March 31, 2019
  • Description — An ORION operative who after an “accident” ends up in cryo for 45 years, wakes up and fights in the HCW and whatever post-War intrigue I can throw at him, including a starring role in my novel.
  • Why — I’ve put a good deal of effort into Joseph to make him both similar and different to the playby that inspired him, and I think I’ve done a decent job, but I figured throwing it up here would get some review and stuff.
  • Status — Nomination failed.

Voting

  1. Oppose Oppose — Hate to say it, but in its current state I don't feel like this article quite measures up for GA despite surpassing the minimum requirements. I'd recommend checking your paragraph length and possibly combining some, as many are very short and it breaks up the flow of the page if there are too many little ones. I generally try to make mine around five lines at least. The content itself is pretty good, though while writing character articles I tend to try and add more detail on how certain events have effected them. It's kind of there in some areas but some sections do feel like a somewhat dry retelling of the events Joseph's life. Also, the presence of some unwritten segments does make the article feel a little barebones; pages don't necessarily have to be completed to earn GA but there should be some more work put into the page first. I hope this helps! Brodie-001: Here to help
  2. Oppose Oppose — While the article does surpass basic GA requirements, I have to concur with Brodie. The article just inherently lacking when compared to most other nominees; a casual glance shows that only the biography has any substantial content. The other is merely a list of his weapons, which I can't say is very satisfactory by itself as it's just a list. The lack of a personality section makes it difficult to get a grasp on what sort of person he is. He acts like he's a bit funny, seems to be driven by anger, and acts like a professional soldier. But I don't know how well he coped with being thrust forty years into the future, or how he gets along with others. This is a case where a much more descriptive summary with even a single summary about how he acts and how skilful he is would have helped. In addition, the writing itself seems subpar from what I've seen the author write. A lot of your sentences are too long, and could benefit from being cut down so that way a single one doesn't form an entire paragraph. Stick to the two-comma-per-sentence rule, read the sentences out loud so you can get a feel for how they flow, and don't feel afraid to cut them short if you have to. There is also a lack of detail in the article, which just sort-of handwaves everything away. It makes me feel disconnected when I'm trying to follow what he's doing. Example: "Following an engagement where a decisive rebel counter strike left Kovacs' squad scattered." How did they get scattered? How large was this attack? It leaves too many things unexplained to allow me to convey what happened exactly happened. The "ORION" subsection could benefit from dividing up its content with more subheadings, as there's too much content here to take in. Dividing it up with "Operation: KALEIDOSCOPE" and "Operation: TANGLEWOOD and Disappearance" would definitely help here, especially since I've noticed that you seem to have structured it as if it was going to have these. It seems like you're trying to cut down on headings. The other thing I'm going to mention is, if you're going to use abbreviations, it would be helpful to write out what they stand for before you with the short form in brackets. The reason I bring this up is because I wasn't sure what CASEVACED meant when it was thrown in at the end of the ORION section. All-in-all, the article is fairly very minimalistic where it matters, especially as the writing just gives a very bare-bones explanation of what happened in Korvacs' life. It gives me the impression that it only makes it past the GA requirements because of the behind-the-scenes coding. Until the writing improves, I can't support its nomination. Sev The past, the present, and the future.
  3. Support Support — Might want to add a comma after "or Codename: HERALD" to finish closing the aside, and that former/latter division reads a little odd. Switching to "active in the late years of the Insurrection as a member of ORION’s Tomahawk Team, and of the Human-Covenant War in Section III’s Lima Nine-Nine" is one way of clearing that up. Missing a 'was' in that second sentence, as it reads like a clause without one. Got one instance of "Kovcas" in there. Fifth paragraph under Force Reconnaissance needs some revision, a few verbs and clauses not agreeing all that well. "who's" to "whose" in the sixth. Missing a "by" in the first paragraph under ORION. Fifth under ORION also needs some grammatical attention. "careful avoiding" should be "careful to avoid". "taken" to "take" and "killing" to "kill", second paragraph above A New War. I'm kind of surprised the 43-year gap isn't marked by a header; having Kovacs enter cryo at the end of one section and detail the wake-up after A New War. Similarly, you usually see Equipment sections after Personality ones, but organization is up to writer preference. On that topic, the paragraph lengths don't really bother me, and in some cases are probably make for easier reading. A couple, though, are just one or two sentences long and probably would do better combined. As long as those grammatical nitpicks I've listed above are taken care of, I think the article's already reached expectations. Filling out Personality & Traits so there's a fleshed-out section aside from the partial biography would round it out, but the concept of an ORION out of time frozen like he's Captain America seems like an interesting take to me--shoot, nearly edit conflicted. That Damn Sniper 05:23, April 4, 2019 (UTC)

Comments

Samuel-B256 (TPF)

  • Writer — ThePeteFiles
  • Nominator — ThePeteFiles
  • Date of Creation — January 16, 2019
  • Date of Nomination — July 28, 2019
  • Description — Beta Company Headhunter that survives the Human-Covenant War and continues to deploy for the Office of Naval Intelligence.
  • Why — Ever since I last nominated the article for GA status on March 30th, I focused on reworking the entire article from the ground up. Pictures, adding sources, expanding on content, taking out NCF content, focusing on correct spelling and, grammar had become the main focus of what I been working on ever since the constructive criticism I was given back in March. I understand that I do not produce the best content, but I know I worked my hardest to get Samuel-B256 to where it is today, and I wouldn't be nominating this article for GA if I thought otherwise.
  • Status — Nomination failed.

Voting

  1. Oppose Oppose — While I'm sorry to oppose an article that has already come up and been denied (it looks like I was lying down on the GA job the last time), after reading through the article I can't vote for approve. I'll start with the positive: this article is very well put together, with good looking images and formatting. However, I found reading the article itself a bit of a slog. While not always grammatically incorrect, many sentences are poorly structured and I found myself having to reread several lines to understand what was going on. The article also suffers from the common Spartan pitfall of describing missions in heavy detail without providing much insight into the events' impact on Samuel as a character. It is all well and good to want to describe events in detail, but without details on how those events impact Samuel's motivations or his relationships with other characters then they're not much more than padding to make the article longer. As with many of these situations, I recommend taking the time to sit down with the article in edit mode, reading through, and proofreading as needed. This article is very close to GA status but it needs some extra work to push it over the finish line. Actene: If This Is To End In Fire, Then We'll Burn Together
  2. Oppose Oppose — I can see the effort that has went into this, but there are some fundamental problems that need to be addressed. Firstly, I concur with Actene that the biography turns into a chore to read, but not for the same reasons - besides the post-Covenant War operations, I felt like I knew exactly what was going on. Rather, it's the repetition that kills the article for me, as well as the level of unnecessary detail (that strangely misses out on important things, like when he was recruited into the AAG) that makes it... Frankly, very mind-numbing to read. Let's cut to the chase: nearly all of the missions he's deployed on are assassination missions where he never gets caught, and only on two occasions does he get disrupted where he's unable to fully complete the mission (Teash and Erebus VII). In addition, there are no big revelations or issues for him for him. The Created Crisis, where AIs can use the colony's communication network to rapidly relocate to another storage drive? He kills them. Working with Skyfall, another Headhunter team, for the first time? No big issues or criticisms noted. Stephen getting captured? His fault, not due to Samuel's nor Mathilda's actions. This, when compounded by the lack of summarisation, the constant repeat of the same phrases ('gotta do it at night,' 'he killed a HVT,' and 'he didn't like people at first because they weren't Kalina or his parents' are regular offenders) and no additional variables whatsoever meant that I struggled to read past the end of the Human-Covenant War missions. That said, I do feel like the physical attributes and relationships were interesting. I do like the formatting, and the physical attributes and relationships sections are nice (although I would prefer separating the skills and the personality). The last part is that I do like the 'summarisation' paragraph at the end of each section that shows how he's changing, it's just a shame that most of it seems very minor. TL:DR the article is good and the effort is evident, but the biography bloat and repetition makes it very hard to read. Sev The past, the present, and the future.
  3. Oppose Oppose — Sorry for joining the dogpile here but I can't help but agree with the points made by Sev and Actene. The article has greatly improved since it was last nominated, that's for sure, but it could still do with some fixes. While I've a tendency to describe missions in detail for some of my own characters, it's important to keep things reasonably succinct so the article isn't a very dry read. I don't personally mind that a lot of the missions themselves are similar, since he is a Headhunter and assassinations are his job, but I do agree with the above point about how he's affected by each one. Maybe you could even incorporate the fact that many of his missions feel repetitive into how he ends up feeling about his life as a Headhunter? I'd suggest using more terms to describe the character aside from just his name; there are a number of sentences that begin with 'Samuel did x' and so on that comes across as rather repetitive. These are mostly just minor issues that a few rewrites will hopefully fix, so don't feel disheartened since the article's pretty good otherwise. Brodie-001: Here to help
  4. Oppose Oppose — This could easily be a perfect GA candidate with a bit of rewriting and overall TLC, but in its current state it's just not quite there yet. In terms of formatting and construction the article looks great, but when you really get down into the actual material that is written there then I'm afraid I have to agree with the others above. There is a lot of unnecessary repetition and extraneous, uninteresting details which add very little besides padding out the page. Save play-by-play descriptions of events for things that have major impact upon characters or which provide necessary context for other events later on down the line. Deliver as much information as you can in as few words as are necessary to accomplish that while maintaining reader interest. Additionally, a lot of the quotes shown on the page do not feel to me like things actually pulled out of a real conversation between real people, such as the quote at the top of the article; I have a hard time imagining a situation in which someone would naturally say something like that aloud. Like I said, this page is very close to being real GA material, but I have to judge the page based on its current state rather than what it could be in the near future. However, I have little doubt that the next time this page gets a nomination that it will pass with little trouble. DemonsofHope »Anonymous ONI agent« [COMMS] [SERVICE RECORD]

Comments

COSSACK-class Mjolnir Powered Assault Armor

  • Writer — EvenManatee887
  • Nominator — EvenManatee887
  • Date of Creation — June 19th, 2019
  • Date of Nomination — July 30th, 2019
  • Description — One of the newest entries into the Mjolnir GEN2 line, COSSACK-class Mjolnir fills a much ignored role among the GEN2 armors and focuses on operational independence and longevity.
  • Why — I believe this has been one of the articles I have put the most time, research and dedication into to make sure that it would not only have a firm and stand out position among the many great suits on the site but so that one day it may be recognized for its merits both as a suit of armor and as an article.
  • Status — GA status granted

Voting

  1. Support Support — While this isn't a requirement for GA, when it comes to tech articles, I can't help expecting a few more links in the intro since so many other known Halo elements are mentioned; I don't mean to add more content in which to insert links, but "Mjolnir", "GEN2", and even "UNSC Ordnance Commission" are all things you could add links to. Kind of an odd want, but I like to see a lot of coding at play when I read a technology piece. There's enough repetition in the article, particularly surrounding the word "features", for me to notice and be bothered by it, and there are quite a few phrases which stick out to me as needing revision; however, instead of adding my umpteenth giant text block to the Nominations page, I'm going to start putting my grammatical nitpicks on talk pages (also making them easier to find and use for revision, I hope). Restricting my comments here to stylistic choices, you've probably seen a lot of older tech articles with a few quotes clustered at the bottom; I think the style was inherited from Halopedia since a few promotional pieces included selections of quotes, but for fanon articles, I tend to think quotes are better used spread out through an article to break up paragraph after paragraph, which would benefit this article. Alternatively, more quotes added thoughout would have the same effect if you want to keep those listed at the bottom. For the article as a whole, I think you've done a good job of dividing your effort into varied History, Usage, and Specifications sections for a tech article without going too long, though I'd always advocate more in History over so many component details. So long as the grammatical points I'll point out on the talk page are addressed, I think I can can comfortably support this article for GA status. That Damn Sniper 19:50, August 10, 2019 (UTC)
  2. Support Support — In addition to Sniper's points above, I'd say that there are way too many short paragraphs in the article that could easily combined into larger ones. It's a very small nitpick but it just improves the format and actually makes it easier to read rather than lots of 2-3 line paragraphs. There's also a bit too much spacing between your sections that again, breaks up the page a little too much. Since these issues could really be cleared up with some very simple edits and Sniper's already given you things to fix on the talk page, I don't mind giving this a supporting vote. Brodie-001: Here to help
  3. Support Support — I'm happy to see that the author seems to have taken the biggest critiques of the article to heart, especially with the consolidation and replacement of all those one-or-two-sentence technical paragraphs that didn't really add much to the article before - especially since it was clear you weren't sure what you talking about in them. The article can still benefit from a couple of quotes and pictures to break it up around the top-middle sections, and there are a few questionable concepts still in the article. The most immediate thing is heat-conductive upper armour: it only really works if you have a place to store/vent that thermal energy, as too much heat can result in everything the plate touches melting and being distorted from the sheer amount of energy present. It's hardly the best thing you want for such a complicated armour system. As it stands, I think it's pretty good at this point, and can't see a reason to oppose it. Sev The past, the present, and the future.
  4. Support Support — As per the others. It's hard for me to offer much meaningful critique on tech articles, though I would recommend expanding the bit at the end regarding notable uses as it offers a bit more story meat for those of us not so tech inclined readers to look through. Actene: If This Is To End In Fire, Then We'll Burn Together

Comments

Furthest Point

  • Writer — Distant Tide
  • Nominator — Distant Tide
  • Date of Creation — March 20, 2019
  • Date of Nomination — August 08, 2019
  • Description — An obscure colony world at the edge of Human space, a literal colonial backwater.
  • Why — One of the few articles I believe I've actually "completed" in a while. I plan to feature it somewhat heavily in Lonely Frontier soon, still hoping Actene will feature it in Heaven and Earth. Oh, and it started as a birthday joke.
  • Status — GA Status Granted.

Voting

  1. Support Support — There are a few places where sentence subjects and predicates disagree, as per new standard I'll leave them and other small points on the article's talk page. Meanwhile, the page's layout is looking good, getting bullet-pointed at-a-glance info across with the UEG record up-front; I might suggest giving the UEG Record section a background to further set it apart from the rest of the article to further dress it up like an embedded document. It feels odd to see the change in level of detail and remembering calling out character articles for it as a problem, but the Notable Locations section really is a good addition; it's meant to give finer detail to the small slice of this entire planet where plot-relevant things occur. And, naturally, I feel it adds to an article's credibility when the subject has appeared in prose stories, whether the writer's own or another's, making it a resource. Not unlike the UNSC Dash, sometimes the joke that starts an article keeps its writer coming back to flesh it out to GA degree. Anyone looking to figure out a good format for planet articles today might take a look at what Furthest Point has done and see what works for them. That Damn Sniper 04:21, August 11, 2019 (UTC)
  2. Support Support — Maybe it's because I like to condense my writing, but Tide's habits with writing paragraphs and sentences are starting to get on my nerves. The abundance of one- and two-sentence paragraphs is leading to what I feel are some very disjointed sections, as several are reintroducing themes that previous paragraphs began to touch upon. There are a lot of sentences that could use being cut down, which are the prime offenders for many of these short paragraphs. I'm also puzzled by the inconsistency of where he decided to plant links, with the convention seeming to change from subsection-to-subsection. "Topographic Details," for example, seems to be very conservative with the amount used, while "Post-Covenant War" is brimming with them. Same goes for the random use of bolding, as well. As for the actual content, I would have appreciated a bit more specific detail to complement the general overview, as at the moment it gives the impression that you don't quite know what you're talking about. It's a decent article, which is why I am supporting it, but I want to see the issues with the writing and grammar to be cleaned up. Sev The past, the present, and the future.
  3. Support Support — Haven't much to say critique-wise, though I wonder if the scroll boxes near the beginning are really necessary aside from being a stylistic choice. As per Sniper's comment, I do like how the planet's notable locations mention story-relevant places and not just say, historical landmarks that you'd see in a travel brochure as it really goes a long way to tie Furthest Point into the larger storyline you guys are building. Brodie-001: Here to help
  4. Support Support — I feel inclined to point out that Furthest Point has already been featured as a location in Heaven and Earth. As per Brodie, I don't think the scroll boxes are necessary. If anything they're a bit ugly and distracting. Other than that a well put together piece and hopefully a nice little sandbox location for future writers (including myself) to build on. Actene: If This Is To End In Fire, Then We'll Burn Together

Comments

Halo: Warhunt

  • Writer — UnggoyZealot
  • Nominator — UnggoyZealot
  • Date of Creation — February 21, 2019
  • Date of Nomination — September 20, 2019
  • Description — A First-Person Shooter Halo game featuring a large campaign and multiplayer platforms, Halo: Warhunt brings many new aspects to the franchise while refining existing ones.
  • Why — I've gotten a lot of help and suggestions from people on this, and in a way I kind of see it as a successor to Incursion on Didact's Keep. I've been working on this article nonstop for well over half a year, and I think I've done a sufficient job on the details of the game in not only plot and locations, but also playability and variety. Even though I've only finished about half of the subpages, I think that Warhunt merits an amount of detail and originality to warrant Good Article status. Feedback away!
  • Status — GA status granted.

Voting

  1. Support Support — Some grammatical recommendations, listed on the talk page, but overall very few for how large the article is. Is the Post-War Era the article's intro refers to supposed to be the Post Human-Covenant War? Taking place in 2558, I think it's a little late in to introduce an era which is going to close with the Created crisis, and the plot summary doesn't really suggest early in we're given a firm spelling out of how the Post-War Era's shaping up. We're introduced to the enemy as just 'the' Covenant, not even that it's a Remnant faction, and I think it's only mentioned that the one you're fighting is Jul 'Mdama's Covenant at the end of the plot summary. Not that it's a problem outright, I just don't think that claim in the intro is accurate. I like that you've included descriptions of the menus; though one could be easily mocked up with some concept art. For claims of being one of the largest multiplayer platforms, I'm surprised there's not more info dedicated to how the gaming community interacted with it; what would bring players to the game, what would keep them there when so many other competitive games are out there? I'd suggest having a look at Forge Labs' video on "The Impact of Forge on Halo: Infinite" for some ideas about putting these features first to be appealing. Overall, I have to disclaim I don't think I get the appeal Game articles have for some (I mean, if this doesn't exist on October 9th, is it NCF? Is reality canon? Ilovebees is... a thing), but it's neat to see the differences between this and Sona's Halo: First Strike, which put more focus on voice cast and soundtrack elements. I think I can comfortably support it. That Damn Sniper 04:13, September 28, 2019 (UTC)
  2. Support Support — The most immediate thing I can see is the lack of description within the various list sections, mostly referring to Loadouts, Squads, and Requisitions, where it's impossible to determine what the specific differences are and pretty much reduces them to mere names. Dedicating a subpage to each of these subjects wouldn't go unappreciated. The armour on the Sangheili side should have pictures assigned to each harness type, since a number of the elites you mention have multiple different suits they can wear. I wonder if it might be better to restrict most of the lists within some sort of template, like a feature list or scroll box, so that the page is condensed to make it easier to navigate. Bit strange that the loadout variants seen in Halo 5 are turned into consumable cards, as I doubt people would realistically burn them since you'd need to choose them each time you respawn. A bit of a hassle if you ask me. The last thing I will mention is that the 'Plot' text could be broken up so it isn't so overwhelming, which a few quotes and pictures will fix. At the end of the day, the article is very competently written, and I was a bit surprised at the detail you threw into the subpages. I was particularly impressed that you included a transcript for some of the Campaign levels. With all this in mind, as well as its general quality, I can't see a reason to oppose this. Sev The past, the present, and the future.
  3. Support Support — It's a nicely-written, well structured article that deserves the award. No sentence-by-sentence analysis from me. Brodie-001: Here to help
  4. Support Support — It is nice to come late to these things since the first couple analyses address all that needs to be said. A fine article that is just as worth GA as it was FOTM. Actene: If This Is To End In Fire, Then We'll Burn Together

Comments

Samuel-B256 (TPF)

  • Writer — ThePeteFiles
  • Nominator — ThePeteFiles
  • Date of Creation — January 16, 2019
  • Date of Nomination — November 7, 2019
  • Description — Beta Company SPARTAN-III that serves as a Headhunter, Cat-2 SPARTAN, and a range of positions throughout the Haloverse.
  • Why — I read the article two weeks ago and I felt as if I was reading something I wasn't proud of. I took the time to rewrite the character and take a spin on what I had done before, and I had loads of fun recreating this character. I've read the past criticism of my previous GA nominations and worked to improve drastically on those who have left constructive criticism. After this rewrite, I feel certain Samuel deserves GA.
  • Status — The present status of the article as a Good Article candidate (FOR JUDICIARY PURPOSES ONLY!)

Voting

  1. Support Support — I think that after so many nominations and improvements you've got this article up to a great standard. Brodie-001: Here to help

Comments

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