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"And Actene narrated the beauty of Yermo; he looked at the prose and saw that it was good. And when he looked at the prose and saw that Yermo was desirable and pleasing to the eye, he said to himself, 'Verily, I must bomb the fuck out of it'."

Actenism is a philosophical belief that, in essence, outlines the physical presence of everything as blighted and/or damaged from the beginning of its existence. Unlike the concept of pessimism, which fundamentally states that all negative entities outweigh the positive, or existential nihilism, which simply refuses to believe in any meaning to existence, Actenism dictates that the existence of good is precious, but difficult to find, and even more so to preserve.




While some may argue that Actenism is simply a mix of pessimism and cynicism, it has numerous traits that make it radically different. For one, Actenism in no way encourages the intellectual being to abandon the prospect of working towards a difficult goal. In fact, a critical component to Actenism is the emphasis of trying to get out of a shitty situation. However, it also agrees with the cynical viewpoint that all existence is deep-rooted with bad, and states that it is difficult to spend one's life from beginning to end being genuinely happy even some of the time.

"You know, you're right. All the hit squads, the assassins, the cabals out to get me, they're all just in my head. Now that you've helped me figure that one out, I'll just start grinning like an idiot the next time trouble comes my way and I'm sure everything will sort itself right out. Thanks for the help, can't believe I didn't pick up on that until right now."
―Simon-G294 in response to the suggestion that his situation is caused through poor mentality

One other notable aspect to Actenism is its self-assured idea that an individual's failure of a life was created from physical circumstances and not psychological ones. Actene's 5,382 word hypothesis (1994: Your Life Is Shit and You'd Better Get Used To It, Chapter 16) successfully disproves the idea that pessimism causes more bad things to happen.

One philosophy that is important to Actenism is the idea that one is not permitted to simply give up. As a practice that is usually very lacking in sympathy, this may be a difficult practice for many Actenists. But it is crucial that this idea not be left out because of another closely tied philosophy: No matter how much one's life sucks, it's better to be alive and miserable than dead. This idea has been frequently scorned by suicidal people, since they disagree with the concept of living meaninglessly at all. But since society ignores what they have to say while they're alive, so it is acceptable to disregard their opinion on Actenism for the time being.

Laws of Actenism

  1. There is good in existence, and to find good is ideal. However, to maintain it is impossible.
  2. There is no perfection, therefore good will always be tainted by bad to some degree.
  3. Anything of even partial goodness is undermined by the fact that bad will constantly attempt to force it to change.

Religious Practices

Living in Actenism

The Word of Actene

Sacred Hymns

  1. Don't Tell Me How to Live My Life
  2. I Hate Everything and You Can't Change My Mind
  3. Why Die For a Good Cause When You Can Run and Live Another Shitty Day
  4. Start Praying If You Think There Really is a God Up There
  5. I've Done Too Much Crap in My Life to Turn Back Now
  6. Don't Trust the System
  7. I Hate You, I Hate Myself, I Hate Everyone
  8. There Is No Such Thing as True Love
  9. Piss Me Off and You Will Regret It
  10. Luck Won't Get You Through Life the Way Self-Preservation Will

Notable Proponents


Simon-G294, the living embodiment of Actenism.

Shinsu 'Refum

Shinsu 'Refum, a formerly suicidal Actenist.

David Kahn

David Kahn, an Actenist in his adolescence who later practiced full-time cynicism.

Yuri Rosch

Yuri Rosch, who practices Actenism in the form of preventing large-scale injustice with smaller, more numerous acts of injustice.

The rest of Actene's characters

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