User:Minuteman 2492/Irk Shenanigans

Murderboners, Shit That Pisses Indy Off, 40k, and Megalomaniacs
[19:49] == Minuteman_2492 [4c7c3954@gateway/web/freenode/ip.76.124.57.84] has joined #Halo-fanon

[19:49] -ChanServ- [#halo-fanon] Welcome to the Halo Fanon Irk Pub, est. 2007. Please have a seat, and our bartender, RansomTime, will pour you a drink shortly. Enjoy your stay!

[19:49] * Aeolus casts lancermancy upon LOMI and turns him into a Pole.

[19:49] <+Brodie-001> What pyromancy?

[19:50]  Brodie-001, Chaos Storm, obviously

[19:50] <+Brodie-001> Awesome.

[19:50] * LOMI is now a pole

[19:50] * Ajax_013 puts LOMI out with a fire extinguisher

[19:50] <+Brodie-001> I finished Dark Souls the other day, by the way.

[19:50] <+Ajax_013> SCIENCE, BITCH

[19:50] == LOMI has changed nick to Washing_Pole

[19:50] <+Brodie-001> Already halfway through my first NG+

[19:50]  Brodie-001, I'm one boss away from all achievements

[19:50]  Stupid Four Kings, NG+2

[19:50] * Aeolus rides Washing_Pole.

[19:50] <+Ajax_013> oH MY

[19:50] * Washing_Pole uses transmogrify

[19:51] == Washing_Pole has changed nick to Winged_Spear

[19:51] <+Brodie-001> I'm trying to meet Kaathe in this playthrough but I keep getting killed in New Londo.

[19:51] <+Brodie-001> Damn spooky scary skeletons

[19:51] * Aeolus points the business end of Winged_Spear at Minuteman_2492.

[19:51]  Brodie-001, my exact problem, only a NG+ after you

[19:51]  The Four Kings are waaaay more powerful than expected, and leveling it practically a non-option

[19:52] <+Brodie-001> I beat them on my first try on my first playthrough.

[19:52]  Hate you so much

[19:52] <+Brodie-001> Same with Gwyn, thanks to Solaire.

[19:52] == Winged_Spear has changed nick to LOMI|Netflix

[19:52]  Gwyn is cheese

[19:52] <+Brodie-001> Come to think of it, Seathe was the most annoying challenge I had.

[19:52]  Although hilariously fun with two other players on NG+7

[19:52] <+Brodie-001> Got rid of the BoC and Nito on my first try, too.

[19:52] * Aeolus wraps Brodie-001's face around the inside of a lion themed fleshlight.

[19:53] <+Brodie-001> :<

[19:53] == LHF [4c7db8a9@gateway/web/freenode/ip.76.125.184.169] has quit [Quit: Page closed]

[19:54]  I really hate you for one-trying Bed of Chaos. Such a pain with those swipey arms

[19:54] <+Brodie-001> git gud

[19:54] * Aeolus stuffs another fleshlight with spaghetti and forces it over Brodie-001's face as well.

[19:54] <+Ajax_013> Kinky

[19:54] <+Brodie-001> It was mostly me running, chugging estus flasks behind safe spots and doing more running

[19:54] <+Brodie-001> :<<

[19:54] <+Brodie-001> y u do dis

[19:55] <+Aeolus> Because I can.

[19:55] <+Aeolus> And because you're not reading my story.

[19:55] <+Aeolus> Even LOMI's reading my story.

[19:55] * LOMI|Netflix is on pause, ATM

[19:56]  Okay.

[19:56] * Aeolus presses LOMI's play button.

[19:56] <+Aeolus> Bow chicka bow wow.

[19:56]  He finished it

[19:56]  ...

[19:56] * Aeolus presses LOMI's fast forward button.

[19:56] <+Aeolus> Oh baby.

[19:56]  ...

[19:56]  What the fuck

[19:57] <+Brodie-001> welcome to the irk

[19:57] == Orestes [~Sonasauru@wikia/Sonasaurus] has joined #Halo-fanon

[19:57] == mode/#Halo-fanon [+v Orestes] by ChanServ

[19:57] == Aeolus [~Sonasauru@wikia/Sonasaurus] has quit [Disconnected by services]

[19:57] == Orestes has changed nick to Aeolus

[19:58] <+Aeolus> >_>

[19:58] <+Aeolus> <_<

[19:58]  Anyways, I don't think he was impressed :(

[19:58] <+Aeolus> Hm?

[19:58]  My brother,

[19:58] <+Aeolus> I blame you.

[19:58] <IndyRevolution> But he doesn't watch RWBY.

[19:58] <IndyRevolution> So fuck his opinion.

[19:58] <IndyRevolution> Though he complained about the audio.

[19:58] <+Aeolus> When I showed it to my newer cast members, they all loved it.

[19:59] <IndyRevolution> I figured they would.

[19:59] <+Aeolus> Well, it's not my fault if some of y'all have shitty microphones :P

[19:59] <IndyRevolution> I lived it.

[19:59] <+Aeolus> You lived it?

[19:59] <IndyRevolution> Yes.

[19:59] <IndyRevolution> I AM RWBY Abridged

[19:59] * Aeolus slaps IndyRevolution.

[19:59] <+Aeolus> No you're not.

[19:59] <IndyRevolution> I know :(

[19:59] <+Aeolus> By the way, has our dear friend Alpha Jaune released a new episode yet?

[20:00] <IndyRevolution> I'm not even gonna check and I can say no.

[20:00] <+Brodie-001> I am the abridge

[20:00] <IndyRevolution> It's been over 4 months.

[20:00] <IndyRevolution> I think he's dead.

[20:00] <+Aeolus> Good.

[20:00] <LOMI|Netflix> Wouldn't that be nice?

[20:00] <IndyRevolution> ...

[20:00] <IndyRevolution> Calm down, Sona.

[20:00] <+Aeolus> There's only so many times you can insert sex scenes and call each other offensive names before you run out of ideas.

[20:01] <+Aeolus> Not that he had any to begin with.

[20:01] <IndyRevolution> I mean

[20:01] <IndyRevolution> There are also obsure references.

[20:01] <IndyRevolution> *obscure

[20:01] <IndyRevolution> Also, I don't think he like Linkin Park.

[20:02] <+Aeolus> Yeah, okay.

[20:02] <+Aeolus> That's the final nail in the coffin for me.

[20:02] <+Aeolus> I'm going to bury this little prick.

[20:02] <IndyRevolution> Song at 1:11-1:20? Thanks :)

[20:03] <IndyRevolution> Seriously? Crawling by Linkin Park, the most edgy emo teen anthem you can find

[20:03] <IndyRevolution> That's him being condescending to a fan.

[20:04] <+Aeolus> Of course he is.

[20:04] <+Aeolus> The only people he likes are Miles and Kerry, whom he worships and desperately hopes they've seen his videos.

[20:04] <+Aeolus> He probably has a shrine to them or something in his mom's basement.

[20:05] <IndyRevolution> Actually, he insults them both several times.

[20:05] <+Aeolus> Yeah, and captions the video "Miles and Kerry, if you're watching this, I'm sorry for insulting you".

[20:05] <+Aeolus> As if they've got time for his bullshit.

[20:06] <+Aeolus> He doesn't seem to understand the idea that people have better things to do than pay attention to him.

[20:06] <IndyRevolution> We have a bizarre obsession with this guy.

[20:06] <IndyRevolution> It's a little creepy.

[20:06] <+Aeolus> No, he's just one of the people I despise the most.

[20:06] <+Aeolus> Along with Adolf Hitler and the entirety of Oasis.

[20:07] <+Brodie-001> murderboners

[20:07] <+Aeolus> The less time I spend thinking about him, the better.

[20:08] <+Aeolus> I'VE GOT A BONER FOR MURDER

[20:08] <IndyRevolution> murderboners are the best boners

[20:08] <+Aeolus> Grif! I mean, Indy!

[20:08] <+Aeolus> Get my shotgun!

[20:10] * IndyRevolution hands Aeolus a shotgun and points at Colin.

[20:10] == LHF [4c7db8a9@gateway/web/freenode/ip.76.125.184.169] has joined #Halo- fanon

[20:10] <LHF> meep

[20:11] * Ajax_013 should really insert a quote somewhere of a Spartan accusing Ajax of having a murderboner

[20:12] <Minuteman_2492> We all know the biggest murderboner belongs to AR.

[20:12] <Minuteman_2492> That's a scientific fact.

[20:12] <+Aeolus> AR doesn't enjoy killing people.

[20:12] <+Brodie-001> Or you

[20:13] <+Ajax_013> North Koreans don't count as people

[20:13] <+Aeolus> ^

[20:13] <IndyRevolution> :O

[20:13] <Minuteman_2492> Oh shit, Indy's offended.

[20:13] <IndyRevolution> Nah

[20:13] <IndyRevolution> Nothing offends me.

[20:13] <+Ajax_013> orly?

[20:13] <LHF> "Iraq is in chaos, but is the oil okay?" -Colbert

[20:13] <IndyRevolution> Except racism.

[20:13] <Minuteman_2492> So you're opening wide so I can stuff my cock in your mouth?

[20:14] <+Aeolus> What about sexism?

[20:14] <IndyRevolution> ...

[20:14] <+Ajax_013> Hrmmmm

[20:14] <IndyRevolution> Dammit, you got me there.

[20:14] <+Brodie-001> what

[20:14] <IndyRevolution> Sexism pisses me off.

[20:14] <+Brodie-001> This escalated quickly

[20:14] <+Ajax_013> Would it be inappropriate for me to go off on a racist tirade, if only to upset Indy?

[20:14] <+Aeolus> Or fascism?

[20:14] <LHF> wtf lancer

[20:14] <+Ajax_013> And possibly accuse his mother of not making enough sandwhiches

[20:14] <+Aeolus> Or genocide?

[20:14] <+Brodie-001> Can we not

[20:15] <+Aeolus> Or unjust murder?

[20:15] <Minuteman_2492> Hail Robert E. Lee!

[20:15] <+Ajax_013> Or rape

[20:15] <+Ajax_013> War

[20:15] <+Aeolus> Which is related to but not exclusive to genocide.

[20:15] <+Ajax_013> Slavery

[20:15] <Minuteman_2492> The South will rise again!

[20:15] <+Aeolus> Or trafficking?

[20:15] <+Ajax_013> Sexual abuse

[20:15] <+Aeolus> Shut up, Lancer.

[20:15] <+Aeolus> IndyRevolution: Do any of those things piss you off?

[20:15] <LHF> What kind of kinky fuckery is going on here?

[20:15] * Minuteman_2492 hands LHF an Enfield rifle

[20:16] <+Ajax_013> In the grim darkness of Halo-Fanon, there is only offensive topics

[20:16] * Minuteman_2492 shoots a Sten into the air like a maniac

[20:16] <IndyRevolution> Oh jesus christ.

[20:17] <IndyRevolution> <Brodie-001> Can we not

[20:17] <IndyRevolution> ^

[20:17] * Agent_Minnesota turns into an Emperor's Children traitor marine and grabs a power dildo.

[20:17] <LHF> OH LAWD JEBUS!

[20:17] <IndyRevolution> Oh god no

[20:17] * Minuteman_2492 turns into Sammael Kutin

[20:17] <+Brodie-001> oh look, now we have the random 40K reference out of fucking nowhere

[20:17] == Minuteman_2492 has changed nick to Sammael_Kutin

[20:17] <IndyRevolution> XD

[20:17] <+Brodie-001> because why not

[20:17] * Sammael_Kutin rips off IndyRevolution

[20:17] <Sammael_Kutin> 's head

[20:18] <Sammael_Kutin> BLOOD.

[20:18] <Sammael_Kutin> FOR THE BLOOD GOD.

[20:18] <IndyRevolution> Oh,

[20:18] <+Brodie-001> Aw

[20:18] * Agent_Minnesota transforms into his loyalist form.

[20:18] <+Brodie-001> You con him then decapitate him. Truly, you are a monster.

[20:18] == Agent_Minnesota has changed nick to Valmor_Scallius

[20:18] * Sammael_Kutin sticks the head on a pike next to the Commissar's

[20:18] * Aeolus just rips off IndyRevolution.

[20:18] <+Aeolus> YOUR MONEY IS NOW MY MONEY

[20:19] == Sammael_Kutin has changed nick to Minuteman_2492

[20:19] -NickServ- This nickname is registered. Please choose a different nickname, or identify via /msg NickServ identify.

[20:19] <Minuteman_2492> PAYCZECHS.

[20:19] * Valmor_Scallius retrieves his boltgun from its sling, bringing it to bear and leveling it at the heretics swarming the channel.

[20:19] <IndyRevolution> I believe Alpha Jaune has some random 40k references http://youtu.be/SZv3QcxveWw?t=13s

[20:19] * Minuteman_2492 breaks out a banjo and gray kepi

[20:20] <IndyRevolution> Aeolus> YOUR MONEY IS NOW MY MONEY

[20:20] <IndyRevolution> Where have I heard that line before?

[20:20] == LHF [4c7db8a9@gateway/web/freenode/ip.76.125.184.169] has quit [Quit: what]

[20:20] * Minuteman_2492 grabs a Confederate Enfield rifle, and shoots IndyRevolution in the chest

[20:20] * Valmor_Scallius authorizes exterminatus on the world of Jaunius Alpha.

[20:21] <IndyRevolution> But...

[20:21] <IndyRevolution> He's a Khornate.

[20:21] <Minuteman_2492> Oh for fuck's sake.

[20:21] <IndyRevolution> Aren't you?\

[20:21] * Minuteman_2492 shoves a bayonet in IndyRevolution's chest

[20:22] <IndyRevolution> Lancer stahp

[20:22] * Valmor_Scallius fires a single round from his bolter, and Minuteman_2492's head evaporates into a fine red mist.

[20:22] <Minuteman_2492> Goddamnit you can still talk without a head or lungs!

[20:22] * Minuteman_2492 whacks IndyRevolution several times in the ribcage with the rifle

[20:22] <IndyRevolution> Speak for yourself.\

[20:23] <IndyRevolution> STAHP

[20:23] == LHF [4c7db8a9@gateway/web/freenode/ip.76.125.184.169] has joined #Halo- fanon

[20:23] <IndyRevolution> LHF

[20:23] * Minuteman_2492 smashes a banjo over LHF's head

[20:23] <IndyRevolution> Halp

[20:23] == LHF_ [4c7db8a9@gateway/web/freenode/ip.76.125.184.169] has joined #Halo- fanon

[20:23] == LHF__ [4c7db8a9@gateway/web/freenode/ip.76.125.184.169] has joined #Halo- fanon

[20:23] == LHF___ [4c7db8a9@gateway/web/freenode/ip.76.125.184.169] has joined #Halo- fanon

[20:23] <IndyRevolution> Oh no

[20:23] * Valmor_Scallius fires again, causing lancer's chest to erupt in a shower of gore.

[20:23] <LHF> oh my god

[20:23] <IndyRevolution> Clones

[20:23] * Minuteman_2492 smashes LHF_ and LHF__ and LHF___  in the head with three more banjos

[20:24] == mode/#Halo-fanon [+o Aeolus] by ChanServ

[20:24] <Valmor_Scallius> Warpspawn besiiege the channel!

[20:24] == LHF was kicked from #Halo-fanon by Aeolus [LHF]

[20:24] == LHF_ was kicked from #Halo-fanon by Aeolus [LHF_]

[20:24] == LHF__ was kicked from #Halo-fanon by Aeolus [LHF__]

[20:24] == LHF___ was kicked from #Halo-fanon by Aeolus [LHF___]

[20:24] == mode/#Halo-fanon [-o Aeolus] by Aeolus

[20:24] == LHF [4c7db8a9@gateway/web/freenode/ip.76.125.184.169] has joined #Halo- fanon

[20:24] <IndyRevolution> ....

[20:24] <+Aeolus> Rapid fire!

[20:24] * LHF unleashes the Grand Army of LHF on Minuteman_2492

[20:24] <IndyRevolution> You didn't need to kick the first one.

[20:24] * Minuteman_2492 shoots LHF in the face with a Colt 1851 Navy revolver

[20:25] * Valmor_Scallius holds down the trigger, saturating the channel with holy fire.

[20:25] * Minuteman_2492 taps into Timeline-191 and unleashes the 1940's Confederate States Armed Forces on the Grand Army of LHF

[20:25] <IndyRevolution> Lancer, are you secretly a confederate?

[20:26] <IndyRevolution> Because it looks like it.

[20:26] * Minuteman_2492 runs IndyRevolution in a Mark IV Barrel

[20:26] <Minuteman_2492> NOPE.

[20:26] <LHF> No, but Colin is.

[20:26] <IndyRevolution> XD

[20:26] <LHF> Most racist person ever.

[20:26] <Colin_Davis> Sometimes I hate you.

[20:26] <Colin_Davis> Just sometimes.

[20:26] <Minuteman_2492> Although I wouldn't-

[20:26] <Minuteman_2492> Nevermind.

[20:26] <Minuteman_2492> Better not go down THAT path.

[20:26] <Minuteman_2492> Anyway.

[20:26] <IndyRevolution> Wat

[20:26] <Colin_Davis> I hate you too Lancer.

[20:26] * Valmor_Scallius 's fire strikes LHF, IndyRevolution, and Minuteman_2492, eviscerating the first and blowing limbs clear of the bodies of the other two.

[20:27] <IndyRevolution> So much sexual tension

[20:27] <LHF> Colin_Davis: u mad brah? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFnFr-DOPf8

[20:27] * Minuteman_2492 continues marching the Confederate Army through Disney World California, burning it to the ground

[20:27] <IndyRevolution> nuuuu

[20:27] <Colin_Davis> Don't think you escape the Hate Train Indy.

[20:27] <IndyRevolution> I go there sometimes,

[20:27] <IndyRevolution> WE BOUGHT TOO MANY GAME

[20:27] * Minuteman_2492 enlists European mercenaries, who proceed to burn down LA and San Diego

[20:28] <IndyRevolution> Now we gotta play them all

[20:28] <Minuteman_2492> Drive to the east!

[20:28] <+Aeolus> Indian people, am I right?

[20:28] <IndyRevolution> SO ALL ABOARD THE STEAM TRAIN

[20:28] * Colin_Davis kills Minuteman_2492.

[20:28] * Colin_Davis looks to Aeolus.

[20:28] * LHF has been trying to untangle a pair of headphones for the past 15 minutes

[20:28] <Colin_Davis> Hey, can I have a weapon?

[20:28] * Minuteman_2492 turns to Colin_Davis, only pissed off by the bullet, and shoots him several times in the chest with an M1911

[20:28] <LHF> THEY WON'T STOP PUTTING THEMSELVES INTO KNOTS.

[20:28] * Valmor_Scallius tosses a melta charge into the middle of the irk pub.

[20:28] * Valmor_Scallius hands the detonator to Aeolus.

[20:29] <LHF> C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-Combo Breaker.

[20:29] * Colin_Davis asks Ajax_013 for a weapon.

[20:29] * Aeolus steps on the charge.

[20:29] * Valmor_Scallius frowns.

[20:29] * Ajax_013 gives Colin a 4 foot long comical pink dildo

[20:29] <Valmor_Scallius> You've damaged the fuse.

[20:30] <Colin_Davis> Can I kill people with this?

[20:30] * Aeolus paints it to look like pedo-lion.

[20:30] <Valmor_Scallius> My chapter's Techmarines will be most displeased by this.

[20:30] * Minuteman_2492 marches around Hampton, and goes straight to Washington D.C.

[20:30] <Minuteman_2492> For the Confederacy!

[20:30] <+Aeolus> No they won't.

[20:30] <+Aeolus> I killed them all.

[20:30] <LOMI|Netflix> Seems like the Irk is random tonight

[20:30] * LOMI|Netflix keeps watching World War Z with his friend

[20:30] <Valmor_Scallius> I doubt that.

[20:31] <Valmor_Scallius> They are all on Gathis II.

[20:31] * Minuteman_2492 conscripts LOMI|Netflix into the Confederate Army

[20:31] <Colin_Davis> Minuteman_2492: You are not Southern, please stop giving us a bad name by running around screaming "Confederacy for teh winzor!"

[20:31] <Minuteman_2492> >:)

[20:31] <Minuteman_2492> Fine, I'll go back to the OTHER way...

[20:31] <Colin_Davis> LOMI|Netflix and I do not appreciate that.

[20:31] <LOMI|Netflix> You're nearly over a century too late for that Lancer

[20:32] <Colin_Davis> Actually, LOMI|Netflix, can you give me a weapon?

[20:32] * Minuteman_2492 lands Polish troops in Florida, where he also burns Disneyland

[20:32] <LOMI|Netflix> Oh look, a Colin

[20:32] * LOMI|Netflix hands Colin a pen

[20:32] <IndyRevolution> LOMI: PRetty awesome movie.

[20:32] <Colin_Davis> That's not something I can kick Lancer from the chat with.

[20:32] * Minuteman_2492 sends PZL.37 bombers to destroy Hampton

[20:32] <Valmor_Scallius> What is a Polish?

[20:32] <Valmor_Scallius> Or a Florida?

[20:33] <Valmor_Scallius> And what is a Disneyland?

[20:33] <Valmor_Scallius> These all sound incredibly heretical.

[20:33] * Minuteman_2492 sets up a beachhead on the ashes of Disneyland, and pisses on everything Lion King related