User:Sonasaurus/Epiquotes

Just some short quotes that I thought were funny. The ones from the same conversation are grouped together.

Users
"Fool me once, fuck you. Fool me twice...errr, fuck you!"

- CommanderTony, January 2, 2011

"I only go on FaceBook when I get an email about something, and it's usually with a 'what the fuck do you want now?' attitude."

- Sona 'Demal

"They already have a place to talk about shit nobody wants to hear...it's called Twitter."

- Spartan G-23, April 23, 2011

"And in other news, researchers have discovered the link between online milestones and not giving a fuck."

- CommanderTony, April 24, 2011

"It may be nice to be important, but it's also important to be nice."

- RichardRHunt, May 3, 2011

"Remember, silence is golden, but duct tape is silver."

- SPARTAN-118, May 16, 2011

"Incest...a game the whole family can play."

- Felix-119, June 2, 2011

"Subbles was one of the few females we did have, and for a very long time, the only one."

- Sona 'Demal

"We had three before one became a bitch and the other turned out to have a penis."

- CommanderTony, June 9, 2011

"What do we do when Ajax reaches Inheritor? Die slowly, or take cover?"

- Supercavitation

"We would have the bomb shelters ready by then."

- Sona 'Demal

"Flee, because he will be back in force. AND WE CAN'T STOP HIM. (unless we invoke Administrative order 66 and purge Ajax from the Internet)"

- SPARTAN-118, June 12, 2011

"Norway and Sweden are just tumours on Russia."

- 117649AnnihilativeRepentance, July 24, 2011

"The new Halo-Fanon slogan: 'Fuck off, Sannse.'"

- RichardRHunt, September 16, 2011

"99% of towns in Canada are named after ones in Britain...we have no imagination whatsoever :\"

- Sona 'Demal

"...and the last 1% are Native American names."

- RichardRHunt, September 16, 2011

"50 bucks says ODSTSS has committed suicide by now. Or finally got kicked out of his mom's basement and now has no internet access."

- Sona 'Demal, October 18, 2011

"(AR,) What's your military's policy on fraternization?"

- Grizzlei

"'Fuck the police'."

- Spartan G-23, October 31, 2011

"I live in... *puts on sunglasses*..."Fira" 'Demal."

- Maslab, December 4, 2011

"I used to make arrow to the knee jokes. Then I took a crossbow bolt to the elbow."

- Maslab, December 7, 2011

"I'm not anti-social, you're just all morons."

-, January 30, 2012

"My door bell just rang."

"That's what she said."

-, March 6, 2012

"I would strangle you, but I'm afraid I'm a continent away."

-, April 1, 2012

"We could try elimination rounds at some point. One-on-one engagements, like a tournament."

"It's called 'Deadliest Halo Warrior'. Not very popular these days though."

"That's because it was a colossal dick comparing contest as far as overpowered factions went."

-, April 8, 2012

"You know what I'm REALLY going to hate coming back here [to edit the wiki]?"

"But it's like riding a bicycle."

"...painful in the groin area after prolonged periods?"

-, September 8, 2012

"Gentlemen, my name is the Halo 4 Pelican. Please, hold your applause. I am a sleek machine whose job is to ferry our brave UNSC soldiers to and from the battlefield across a number of hostile environments. Often, this involves spaceflight as well, but I get ahead of myself. In the years since you last saw me I... Felt the need to get a few upgrades. You know, spruce things up a bit. Well, Look at me now. I am a lean, mean, orbital transport and re entry machine! When I go from orbit to surface, you will all have the pleasant view of my new outward and non retractable machine gun turrets and their seated operators burning up in the re entry heat, melting off and causing a structural instability to be exploited later. My dorsal autocannon is 50mm of sleek shooty goodness. Don't let its +5 degrees of elevation fool you, if anything attacks along a limited horizontal plane, I have it handled. And if you wanted to know, Yes, my pilot canopy is inspired by the Mil Mi-24 Hind. There won't be anymore of that "Pilot having access to the passenger compartment" nonsense anymore. Adding to my new charm is my excellent engine redesign. No longer will I have those sleek yet imposing fusion thrusters on large, flexible mounts for cruising through space and air as I wish. No, I received the full Harrier Jumpjet treatment; Making it even more implausible that I would be able to carry a 60 ton tank along with a quantity of infantry in my rear compartment. My engine air intakes are both frontal, large, and highly exposed. I want everyone, and I do mean everyone, to be able to see them. Be it dust, or birds, or covenant plasma, I will flaunt my four air intakes to the world. I don't even know what would happen to them on orbital reentry but it sounds spicy."

- Candid Opinion, September 22, 2012

"Kickimanjaro!"

-, September 25, 2012

"Science doesn't really give a shit about your beliefs."

- Online post

"But beliefs give a shit about your science. Who's the dogmatic one now, bitch?"

-, September 29, 2012

"Sona detonated a weapon of mass disconnection!"

-, September 30, 2012

"One does not simply ally with Ajax."

-, October 1, 2012

"And Actene narrated the beauty of Yermo; he looked at the prose and saw that it was good. And when he looked at the prose and saw that Yermo was desirable and pleasing to the eye, he said to himself, 'Verily, I must bomb the fuck out of it'."

-, October 4, 2012

Characters/Stories
"I AM NOT PEELING A FRICKIN' POTATO WITH MY PRECIOUS!"

-, "Oh, Christmas Tree..."

"We are not. Hanging. Grenades. ON A CHRISTMAS TREE!"

-, "TO THE MALL!"

"That is NOT a turkey!"

-, "Spartans Shouldn't Shop"

"Jun, Jorge, run. Our friends have been kidnapped and replaced with evil twins."

-, "Converting the Commander"

"Men...You're all alike, you and Carter and the other Y-chromosome-bearing idiots on this base. Why is it so hard to tell a woman exactly what's going on?"

-, "Got Your Back"

"But...I like boxes and wrapping paper and bows...and what's inside..."

-, "Emile's Epic Fail"

"This was supposed to be a field exercise, not a demonstration of your somewhat questionable survival maneuvers."

-, "Party Crashers"

"Just so you'll know, you look like an adorable blonde fluffy stuffed animal that needs to be squashed in a hug."

-, "Angst and an SOS"

"Aw, stop it, Gunny. We're trying to make the dear Captain a Christmas present..."

-, "Winter Wonderland"

"You're about as experienced as a nauseated hippopotamus, but you'll learn."

-, "Spartans vs. Ice"

"I swear, tonight you will have nightmares about being anally probed by psychotic Grunts!"

-, "Heating Up"

"What do you suggest I do to make this less boring, then?"

-, "Dinner Is Served"

"It's not what you do with it, it's what you do under it. You people are savages. Ain't you ever heard of 'kissin' under the mistletoe' before?"

-, "And To All A Good Night"

"If I had as many wives as you had claims of opportunity, my children alone would number highly enough to defeat the Union."

- Atsu 'Hidal, "Vadam Legacies: The Fallen"