User:Morhek/Hitchhikers Guide

If you, or your species, is considering making contact with the Covenant, the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject: forget it.

For the most part, the collective hegemonic civilisation which pretentiously calls itself "the Covenant", enjoy imagining themselves as inheritors to a race that probably didn't give a pair of fetid dingoes kidneys about what other races thought about them, and have spent many decades mercilessly asserting this claim. Led by a political caste that consists entirely of rather grumpy old men who listen to suggestions for improvement out of politeness and then ignore it, one would think that they and the human race would be able to find some common ground. The thirty seven years of war, hundreds of planets devastated, and billions dead rather disagree.

In fact, their politicians aren't the only similarity they share with the human race - the Covenant are also mindlessly consumed with pondering the great questions of existence - the Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything. The only significant difference is that whereas the human race has spent many millenia coming up with new religions, grinding others under their heels, and finding themselves being ground under the heels of another, larger, slightly more popular religion, the Covenant bypasses all this long ago, and came up with their own answer: Because We Say So. Admittedly, it leave much to be desired in terms of eloquence, but it is at least memorable, presumably more so since they tend to reinforce this assertion at gunpoint. Another commonality they share with the human race