Forum:I need reviews...

What am i on about?
Hi everyone! Now i've been on this site for a while doing fanon with my CN and the odd other bits too. Recently though, i've been taking part in the Rebuild Era, which takes place between the Huamn-Covenant War and Necros War. In this i am creating a trilogy of stories, which is going to be my main contribution to the project. The first one is being written at the moment but is still far from completion. However i've done the first chapter and so i would like it if people could read it and give me positive points and points on how to improve. This way i can make the rest of them even better. I would be very gretful if people did review it, nothing massive though; it only needs to be a paragraph or two. It depends on how much you like it, or not :( ! Thanks to anyone who does review it. Here's the link to the trilogy page: Halo:Sviour Trilogy, and here's the link to the preview: User:The parkster/Halo: The Saviour: Genisis. Hope you enjoy!