Talk:When There Was Faith

Chapter 1
First off, A Grunt and his Plasma Pistol was quite fun to read, and has the same feel as Zawaz from First Strike and Kwassass from Ghosts of Onyx. I'm already looking forward to subsequent chapters! A few minor items: All in all, a solid read with a sympathetic character and believable description of events. I look forward to The Life and Death of an Infection Form. Auguststorm1945 (Talk ) 01:24, January 22, 2014 (UTC)
 * When Nipin is dreaming about his family, and how they are all that matters to him, the description of how his sister Tatan treats him (verbal and physical abuse?) seems to clash a bit with how fondly he remembers her. While I realize his fondness for her in spite of that abuse does convey just how important his family is to him, it threw me off a bit the first time through.
 * While the action is not specifically described, Nipin is implied to have relieved himself just prior to witnessing the discussion between the Sangheili; at the conclusion of their discussion - no spoilers! - he discovers he has "wet" himself (presumably by urinating?) in fear. Just seemed slightly odd for him to urinate twice in short time. A rather odd point to be held up on, admittedly.
 * Lastly, Nipin's preference for the Human names for Mgalekgolo and Kig-Yar seems off to me, but is understandable. "Mgalekgolo" doesn't seem like it would fit particularly well into an Unggoy's lexicon.