User talk:Lieutenant commander onyx/'Xytan'vox' o'megadama

NCF Discussion
Hi there, name's. I'm a Site Patroller here on Halo Fanon moderator and I came across your article and noted issues regarding the article's canon friendliness, in that it breaks our site's Canon Policy and Site Rules.

I'll leave a list of items that goes against our policy and means to fix them. If you wish to discuss the issues, you can message me on my talk page and I'll try to respond as soon as I can.


 * 1) The name is 'Xytan mantadama (Nothing particularly wrong with this one but the name is written in the wrong manner of Sangheili naming conventions. Recommend changing it to "Xytan 'Mantadama". Also, I'm slightly concerned that you just copied several names of different, famous Sangheili and slapped them together.)
 * 2) He's age 18 and taller than the largest known Sangheili in canon. (I don't know what age system you're using but both among Sangheili and Humans - he's too young and far too tall for his age. The best fix is to up his age into the 50-100 year range and bringing him back down to the average Sangheili height around 7 to 8 feet tall.)
 * 3) "made a UNSC admiral commit suicide..." (Don't know why and it seems like something you added just to make Xytan seem really powerful, cool, and scary - I recommend either taking it out or finding a good way to explain this.)
 * 4) Xytan participated during the Battle of Earth and almost glassed it. (The Sangheili didn't take part in that, any ships that were part of Truth's forces after the start of the Great Schism were Brute-led and the Sangheili on Earth were quietly assassinated during the events of Halo 2 and Halo 3: ODST. On the other hand, Xytan's ship could never have been part of Regret's 15-ship fleet during Halo 2 either since we know both supercarriers and one was destroyed.)
 * 5) he retreated to High Charity and fought the Brutes there (Supercarriers are good but they're not that good. Consider finding another way to tell your story.)