User talk:Ocelot79/Ntho Varamee

Can u please fix up this article, the grammar, articulation and just the way it's been written as a whole is very poor, i.e: At the mombasa city he got by accident stick by plasma grenade by accident(after helping Master chief) but he barely survived. (and my other favourite line...or chunk)"Its gonna blow.Take the banshee,now" Both of them took the banshees and tried to escape.After the scarab explosion they saw a banshee behind them.The brute inside used the fuel rod gun and the effect was to destroy the leaders banshee. "NOOOO!!!"Ntho varamee screamed. The brute lost him and ntho returned as the only survivor.

You could easily have made this article much more fluid, taking the last chunk as an example :Ntho suggested the pair escape the immenent explosion of the Scarab via Banshees, though unfortunatly the "leaders" Vehicle was destroyed by a single Brute flown Banshee. Ntho felt great remorse for this, though he none the less succeeded in escaping, now the sole survivor.

Doesnt that just read better? I know it's not perfect and you don't have to emulate that, but if you want dialogue that isn't a quote, write a story.